Kevin Myers: Time for brand Fine Gael to get a new slogan
So the Fine Gael train seems to be hitting the buffers again. There's one theory that all is going to plan; that the rival presidential candidates, having written off Gay Mitchell, will engage in mutual hari-kiri, leaving the Mitchell innards within.
And then suddenly, bam, he's back, scattering whatever entrails remain: next, he's nodding presidentially as his metaphoric coach-and-four takes him to the old Vice-Regal Lodge.
But even if Dublin votes for him in preference to some culchie, he's unlikely to be president. Why? Because Fine Gael really doesn't know what it is, or what it wants. It largely accepts the gospel as written by Fianna Fail, that party of bamboozling boozers, frauds and terrorist-appeasers, which declares that Fine Gael is not authentically Irish. Which is pretty good, considering that Fianna Fail was founded by one man whose ancestors were (allegedly) from Spain, namely Señor de Valera, and another, Monsieur Lemass, whose ancestors were Huguenots. Actually, the only authentically "Irish" person left is probably some naked wet Hobbit huddling under a stone in Inishmaan.