Saturday 3 December 2016

Kevin Myers: Ode to a month that we could all do without

Published 11/08/2011 | 18:00

August is the 'Angelus' on RTE. August is yet another book on the GPO and the Easter Rising.

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Leave your bed at first light on an August day as I did yesterday: you will hear no birdsong and no morning chorus, just the dull frantic cheeps of sparrows who realise that they've got another 20 days of this terrible month and they're not sure if they're going to make it. August is the mensal unit without any real character of its own: it is a nonth.

August is naf. August is a cane-toad in your bath. August is the fat boy in the class that picks his nose and eats his discoveries. August is the flatulent teenage girl that pulls wings off butterflies. August is a fish with athlete's foot. August is a pineapple with a tape-worm. August is a cat suffering from potato-blight. August is a grape with rabies. August is a train with no railway.

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