'George, you need to sort out this nonsense at Shell's Corrib gas site'
George Lee is no doubt rather tired of getting the advice of former colleagues, from back in the days when he toiled in the lead mines of hackery, and so I offer these imperishable words of wisdom to other politicians also.
The party which gives a clear and resolute lead to end the nonsense at Shell's Corrib gas site is the party which will be rewarded with massive electoral approval. There is no more important project in Ireland than this one, both in terms of size and symbolism. This is the largest single construction project in the country, employing more than 1,000 people and giving that part of Mayo the only booming economy in the entire island. But it also stands as a classic example of political willpower. Either due constitutional process is allowed to triumph, or the pagan voodoo of the fir-bolgs will succeed: to be followed by Albanian levels of ignorance, darkness and poverty.
Now you know that probably half of the voters of Dublin 4 and 6, with their Victorian homes and their new extensions, profoundly disapprove of the Corrib gas project. They are psychologically attuned to anything to do with protest, especially if this can be connected to the environment. (Chic Che Guevara posters on the wall: so retro, Emma: so cool, Roger). But governments are not voted in by the handful of pseudo-Protestant wards in salubrious Dublin suburbs, but by plain people who understand the economics of survival. They live by the mathematics of Micawber. "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."
Misery is spreading across this island like sea through a broken sea-wall. And where we have one great shining light of hope, we also have a band of lunatic troglodytes picketing the workplace, preventing lorries getting access, and even holding prayer meetings to prevent An Garda Siochana from doing their lawful duty. And Shell is not breaking some law, or cutting some corners; all the environmental hoops have been gone through, all the legal hurdles legally handled. At every stage of planning and approval, the project is kosher: at county council level, at An Bord Pleanala level, at government level, this Shell operation is official policy, authorised and approved of by all the relevant authorities.
Yet not merely does a tiny and utterly unrepresentative protest group continue its actions, we now have the incursion of semi-paramilitaries: masked men who arrived at dawn last month, and did extensive damage to site equipment. That was serious: but far more serious was the failure of political leadership at national level to condemn what had happened: no one in authority hurled anathema on the offenders, and no one slapped court injunctions on any protesters ordering them to stay away.
Instead, two government ministers went to have tea and scones with the leaders of Shell-to-Sea. Such deference will not cause them to relent, but merely boosts their egos. Who comes next to defer and grovel? The Taoiseach? The President? Archbishop Desmond Tutu?
Well, actually, Tutu's already taken sides with the Shell-to-Sea primitivists. That's the thing about fame. It's addictive. And Tutu is a celebrity-junky. Having achieved world adoration for his opposition to apartheid, he cannot now be out of the light of publicity. He's an archepiscopal Bono, or Richard Gere: he has an opinion on everything he's asked about, no matter his ignorance. So ask him about Shell, and the protesters in Mayo, and he denounces some caricature image of oppressed but gallant native Irish, and a cruel multinational oppressing them. A small favour, Archbishop. Shut up. We have a country to run over here, as you have over there; and now that I come to think of it, you're not doing a very good job of it, either. So really shut up.
George -- no, I haven't forgotten that I was addressing you originally: though, please, others may feel free to eavesdrop -- it's time to talk in strong, measured terms about the Bellanaboy Project. Declare how vital it is for Ireland. Put yourself in stark contrast with your party leader, whose voice on this issue has been as clear as a wren breaking wind in a tornado -- even though his constituents stand to face economic ruin if the protesters have their way.
George. I have a little theory about your candidature. I think it's part of a move by Richard Bruton to remove Enda Kenny. Certainly, your current leader has to go. No one can be elected taoiseach if he looks like a puppet in 'Thunderbirds'. Richard's the obvious successor; and you're his obvious deputy leader. Between you, with Fianna Fail facing the greatest party meltdown in electoral history, you might steer Fine Gael to an unprecedented victory.
But that's only possible with clear leadership: a calm, decisive and authoritative command, where no one is left in any doubt about where you stand, and that, most of all, you are not afraid to make enemies. The Rossport Five would be a bloody good start when it comes to handing out a few bloody noses. To paraphrase your great, great grand uncle, General Robert E: In politics, as in war -- no victims, no victory.
kmyers@independent.ie
- Kevin Myers
