It never ends, does it? The stupidity, cupidity and EUpidity of the grand scheme to promote a single currency across disparate lands and incompatible cultures of Europe are apparently bottomless.
Today Cyprus faces ruin: who knows, tomorrow Poland, as the blundering ideologues of the euro insist on the execution of their great imperial scheme, regardless of the history and the habits of the peoples whom they attempt to bring under their monetary yoke.
Russia's connection to Cyprus has been presented by the Eurologists merely as a sinister and criminal conspiracy. And no doubt the Russian mafia does use Cyprus as a staging post for its unlawful assets. But that is only part of the relationship. Russia has always looked on the Orthodox peoples of the Mediterranean as part of its cultural and religious bailiwick. That in large part was why the Crimean War was fought; and though it makes little sense to us now, it made a great deal of sense to the Orthodox peoples of southern Europe in the 1850s, as Serbs, Bulgarians and Greeks rallied to the Russian cause against Turkey, France, and the United Kingdom, (including Catholic Ireland, whose popular support for the war was as wildly enthusiastic then as it is utterly incomprehensible now).
The European Union, because it is an ideological concept, does not recognise such ancient fault lines: yet there it still is, unmistakeably, connecting Moscow, Sofia, Belgrade, Athens and Nicosia. Other cultural forces have been imposed on that continuity, including British democracy in Cyprus, but the covert vitality of the older loyalties remains. And much as imperial Russia always wanted a year-round warm-water port, modern Russia now wants a year-round, warm-water resort, which Cyprus provides. It is surely not coincidental that the Cypriot Prime Minister Nicos Anastasiades manages to combine two of the last of the Romanovs in his name: the Tsar Nicholas, and the youngest member of the royal family, the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicolaevna.
I throw in all this merely as counterweight to the blatant falsehood being put forward by that international criminal-conspiracy, the IMF, the EU and the European Central Bank – which, rather delightfully, goes by the Russian name "troika" – that deposits in Cyprus banks are essentially the ill-gotten gains of Russian gangsters, and may therefore be lawfully seized.
Of course, truth is not the only casualty here. The insanity of the Euro-project's dogmas means that all ordinary laws of human conduct may be ignored. It is an axiom of all banking schemes that funds on deposit are safe: otherwise, why not entrust your savings to a pillowcase under the floorboards, and a stout cudgel beside the bed? The troika's intended raid on Cyprus banks therefore violates the very core purpose of the banking system. This is like having a high-rise reservoir without a dam, or a skyscraper without foundations. So why would anyone ever again trust a banking system that robbed those that trusted it? Worse still, Cyprus's fears can't be contained. One consequence of the creation of the euro is the removal of all financial walls between different cultures and countries – and sooner or later panic will spread through the entire system like scabies in a dormitory of enthusiastic lesbians.
Moreover, Greek Cyprus has powerful links not merely with Greece and Russia, and paradoxically, even Turkey, but also southward, to the Middle East. Why there is an Orthodox paramilitary group in Lebanon which seeks a union between Cyprus, Syria and Israel-Palestine.
The euro fiasco is a reminder of what empires at their most foolish do: hence the splendid British plan to grow groundnuts in Tanganyika. Groundnuts require nearly two feet of rain a year: Tanganyika endures an almost permanent drought. Result? Well, pretty much what Cyprus has been experiencing in recent days, with this difference: the cost of the failure in Tanganyika was borne by the imperial power, whereas the cost of the latest failure of the euro is being heaped onto the unfortunate people of Cyprus.
Well, we in Ireland know something about this, as we dutifully parroted the coy EUphemisms for the brutal austerity measures imposed on us, as in that absurd term "haircut". The troika has hitherto managed to cultivate native client-classes that will dutifully administer the euro project, and no doubt would call a beheading a "pedicure". And as a reward, their salaries and their pensions are allowed to remain intact, while the living standards of those whom they govern have fallen calamitously. But Cyprus is finally breaking the mould. Its entire political class, faced with a popular revolt over the troika's plans to fine the citizenry for the apparently criminal deed of having banked their life savings, has mutinied. Watch now, as the contagion spreads, and the periphery of the EU begins to fracture along the fault lines that predate the euro, the EU, the EEC and the original Coal and Steel Pact that begat the great United Europe project. The drawing board beckons.