News Kevin Myers

Sunday 21 September 2014

Kevin Myers: Undisciplined young males are vile. It's why society created such a taboo about the ghastly alliance of schools... 

It's always a sign of pathetic decrepitude, impotence and imminent senility for older people to complain about the younger generation. Young people today are no worse than they've ever been. Though I'm not too enamoured of their parents, I don't really blame them either: it's their parents who are at fault. They didn't instil in their own children an utter and abject terror...

Kevin Myers: It's not easy being an adolescent these days 

SIGHING heavily, I laid aside my quill, placed a sheet of blotting paper on the parchment and put the cap back on the inkwell. I was still no closer to solving the mystery of this Facebook phenomenon. Oh, I'm not completely ignorant about it: for example, I know that Facebook enables people to say they have thousands of friends, but have met none of them. Surely, an old-fashioned telephone directory would do just the same; and better still, it gives you people's addresses outside which you can loiter without any trousers, plus you can ring your new...

Kevin Myers: The modern child has two chins, four buttocks, a fatty liver and two brains: one in its head, the other in its... 

THE modern child has two chins, four buttocks, some pert little breasts, a fat-covered liver and two brains: one in its head, and the other in its belly. The former was supplied by nature, the latter, usually, by the child's mother, with the generous assistance of the food industry. Both brains urge the child to eat, but it is the abdominal brain which runs the show. For...

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