Saturday 22 July 2017

Katie Byrne: cheating the scales

Weight gain and denial go hand in hand

Features writer Katie Byrne
Features writer Katie Byrne
Katie Byrne

Katie Byrne

Apparently I've gained a stone. This is according to the bathroom weighing scales, which we all know can't be trusted. I'm going to buy a new one. In fact, I'm going to demand a recount or call the Ombudsman for these matters. It's a conspiracy. I'm sure of it.

Fourteen pounds! That's the same as 14 packets of Kerrygold butter! No, no, no… there seems to have been a mistake… there's nobody here by the name of Fatso.

Denial is a fascinating coping mechanism. When my bra started to feel tight, I blamed the tumble dryer rather than the chocolate Oreo malts. When my top button wouldn't close, I attributed it to bloating rather than the daily feeds of peanut butter and honey toast.

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