Sometimes, even those of us who are supposed to be cynics try to ease our bruised lives with a pleasant fantasy.
So it was last week that, as the Ceann Comhairle berated Fine Gael backbenchers who have been bringing the house into disrepute with those queer souls who watch Dail TV with their shouting down of any dissent against the wise teachings of the 'dear leader', we allowed our mind to drift to a better place.
The spot we ended in was still the Dail chamber, but this one was a hallowed theatre of the nation where serious business was being conducted. In this different space Enda, Michael, Gerry, the Tanaiste, for we mustn't forget 'Mr Pink but Invisible' are listened to in respectful silence, as all pledge the political process will not embarrass itself on the issue of an investigation into the banks.
Amid the consensus that there will be no infighting on finally imposing accountability on our rogue banks, shocked FG backbenchers watch in puzzled silence as Enda informs the Dail that "we want to do what is best for Ireland" and Mr Adams pleads for the Northern Bank robbery to be added to any inquiry.
Then, just as white doves fluttered around the chamber celebrating, and contrite sentiments flooded our chilly heart we woke up to find, quelle surprise, there were no white doves linking wings beneath the ceiling of Leinster House.
Instead, the spectacle in the floor below suggested that far from being on the ebb, the ongoing moral debasement of Irish politics is gathering pace.
Such a development is all the more sad for after Election 2011 we appeared to convince ourselves that some sort of 'democratic revolution' had occurred in Irish politics.
It is hard though to maintain the faith when the Dail chamber contains two tax evaders (Michael Wallace and Michael Lowry); at least two former alleged members of a terrorist organisation (one of whom has in the past faced questions about the shooting in the head of a mother of 10); and now, to that list we add one glorious high-profile entry in the pages of Stubbs Gazette.
And that does not include the musings by yet another multi-property owning minister, Alan Shatter, about whether people should sell all their personal effects, including engagement rings, to satisfy their banks or the romping of not-so-cute oul' Phil in the property market.
Amid such a thriving 'democratic revolution' it is amazing to think that 20 years ago Dick Spring promised he would make openness, transparency and accountability the heartbeat of our democratic system.
My, but how we laughed at such 'notions'. And, sadly, how we were right to laugh.
For those who wonder how Dick's plan fared, nothing epitomised the wrecking of those ambitions more than the war of the political egomaniacs over who will lead an impotent inquiry into how our rogue banks stabbed the country in the back.
Some vested interests have claimed that such an inquiry will be nothing more than an act of vengeance, but, despite the sibilant whispers of clever spin doctors and smarter lawyers, how we respond to the destruction of this State by the banks is the litmus test of the health of our democracy.
The response of this Government to what some might call 'the civil rights issue of our generation' will decide whether we have evolved sufficiently as a State for it to be safe to allow us to govern ourselves independently again.
That certainly wasn't the case under Brian Cowen, where the response of the State was imbued with the paternalism of a Victorian father as a scared elite told a cowed citizenry to shut our traps, pay up and for God's sake don't go complaining lest you embarrass us all in front of the neighbours.
Sadly, the evidence that anything has changed is so scant, if the Grumpy Old Men were actually smart enough to damage their political enemies, they would put John McGuinness in charge of the inquiry.
The Taoiseach may be as keen to set up a banking inquiry as he is to don a pearly white suit and officiate over Ireland's first gay marriage.
But, he should actually urge the opposition to send us their dumbest (Mick Wallace) and their brightest such as Mary Lou, Peadar Tobin and Pearse, (sorry Gerry), Michael McGrath, Darragh O'Brien, Sean Fleming, Niall Collins, Billy 'The Kid' Kelleher, Timmy Dooley and, well when it comes to the rest of the Fianna Fail bright sparks we will, eh, we'll get back to you.
Once the team is gathered, what will then be needed is an inquiry with very broad terms of reference. That's right, Enda, just like the Flood tribunal, now you're getting the hang of it.
Should the Government then follow the usual trick of giving the inquiry the sort of inquisitorial powers that, thanks to 'My Lords' in the courts, are less than those of a parking warden, they can then watch contentedly as the lads spend the next three years, chasing multi-pensioned multi-lawyered ghouls, who only have to cast a hurt eye in the direction of the courts, to inspire a fleet of wigs who went to the same private schools as their good selves to come racing to their aid.
Indeed, if Enda wants to really get into bonus territory, he might even appoint some of his more turbulent priests such as Billy Timmins, Michael Creed, Charlie Flanagan and John Deasy to the committee.
Of course, when it comes to a banking crisis that has already spawned four futile reports, all of which failed to secure or avoided findings of culpability against individuals (it's called accountability Irish-style), the most likely outcome will be that Alex White will win the tug of war of the eunuchs.
Should this occur, pessimists may be concerned the high-profile role Mr White had in the extraordinary set of circumstances where, a Seanad attempt to discipline Ivor Callely concluded with the spectacle of Ivor taking the State for €17,000 in the courts, means that the bankers and Biffo will not be excessively terrified by the prospect of being hunted by Labour's aspirant Elliot Ness.
But, in spite of such achievements, and the bad news that Mr White is a barrister, it should be stressed that he is as capable as any back-bench mutt and quite a few Cabinet mutts to conduct a pointless inquiry that will either run into the sands or be gutted.
It truly is a measure of the unreformed nature of the State that, after a year and a half of Enda's democratic revolution, the more one looks at the antics over the banks, suddenly, despite the 14-year, half-a-billion euro in costs, horror of Mahon and Moriarty, our old friend the tribunal of inquiry is back, standing in the gaslight winking at the political process, the inquisitorial equivalent of a lady of the night.
And the desolate truth is that, when compared to the eternal sight of the Irish political system setting itself up to fail, such a tribunal if it were run by a judge such as Frank Clarke, Elizabeth Dunne or Justice Kelly is starting to look very attractive.
Ultimately, despite all the current furores about the banks, the best example of how we have not evolved as a State is actually provided by a sequence of events that occurred 40 years before the banks broke the Republic.
In the early Seventies, a journalist called Joe McAnthony first unveiled the level of corruption within Dublin and the role Ray Burke played in it.
Mr McAnthony fared so well in the wake of his revelations he eventually left the country. Ray Burke in contrast became a minister, on the back of the bribes he trousered, until an impotent tribunal, more than 20 years later led to his resignation accompanied by paeans of praise from a desolate Bertie Ahern.
Could it really be the case that, when it comes to our banks, history will repeat itself both as tragedy and farce?
Don't bet against it.




