Wednesday 24 August 2016

You think you have it bad?

Published 30/01/2013 | 06:00

We've all had to take pay cuts and change our working arrangements.

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For instance I recently renegotiated my contract and when the editor proudly slapped me on the back and said "Ian O'Doherty sells newspapers", I didn't realise he was going to force me to wear a bib and flog copies of the Indo outside Connolly Station.

The lads on Match Of The Day have all had to take a huge pay cuts too, with Gary Lineker's salary being reduced by a massive half a million quid to a paltry £1m.

The revelations about the incredible money earned by Lineker and his two main pundits, Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson, have once more caused ructions in Britain where the Beeb is getting as much of a kicking as RTÉ is on these shores.

But reading the story yesterday I was reminded of the fact that I have met both Hansen and Lawrenson.

And if I had to comment on my impression of the two men it would be. . . Mark Lawrenson is a really nice guy.

Hansen on the other hand?

The less said the better.

Not Raw. Just over boiled

When Raw first appeared on our screens, it was fast and fresh.

Charlene McKenna (pictured) was magnetic as the feisty chef JoJo and the best compliment was that it was so good you'd never think it had been made by RTÉ.

God – how quickly things change.

Myself and the missus sat down on Sunday to watch the latest episode, well aware that the new season has been getting a pasting.

But because we enjoyed earlier series of the show so much, we thought we'd give it one more go.

Well, never again.

The acting is so bad you could cover the cast in Ronseal and they wouldn't even notice. The script is toe-curlingly awful.

And if you played a drinking game based on downing a shot every time there's a cliché you'd need a liver transplant by the first ad break.

In fact it's so woegus that it might well be a kids' TV programme in the after-school slot.

This is one dish that has been sent back. . .

Best mother ever

I've never been into tattoos.

No, tats were always something that left me cold, although I love people who like to talk about their 'body art.'

Look, mate, when you have a tattoo of Man UTD done on your shoulder by a bloke called Jimmy in a parlour on the quays, that ain't art.

But I was stunned to see an online video yesterday of a woman in Cuba holding her three-year-old daughter down as a man gives her a tattoo.

The kid, as you can imagine, screams the whole time.

I know I'm no child psychologist but I'm going to hazard a guess that this is one kid who is going to have some pretty serious resentment issues when she gets older. . .

Now that's thinking outside the box

St Mel's Cathedral in Longford, as you know, was badly damaged by fire a few years ago and the locals are keen to have its restoration completed as soon as possible.

Well, maybe not all of them.

Local architect Liam Madden has launched a series of objections and the latest is certainly an interesting one.

He doesn't want a planned glass lift installed because, he says, this "would give rise to the problems of modesty for Scotsmen visiting in their kilt".

Now, I wasn't aware that Longford deals with hordes of kilt-wearing Jocks going commando but, ace reporter that I am, I'm going to take a punt and say that there may be more to his objections than seeing Scots' willies.

Wow, I never knew

I've been accused of many things since I started doing this column.

To some, I'm a Zionist shill, yet I have also been called an anti-Semite.

I've been accused of "peddling the gay agenda" in the same day a complaint was lodged with the Press Council accusing me of homophobia.

I've been accused of promoting drugs while also being accused of fostering hatred against drug addicts.

And now the latest is a doozy – I've been accused of being "anti-male" and a disgrace to my gender.

The reason?

I simply mentioned that Jim Davidson seems to be a pretty loathsome person and his brand of so-called comedy is vile.

So now I'm fostering a feminist agenda.

Thing is – I doubt they'd want the likes of me to take up the cudgel for them.

Irish Independent

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