independent

Sunday 20 April 2014

Whoops he did it again

Honestly, there are times when I'm half-convinced that George Galloway is actually part of a cunningly fiendish plot by the Israeli secret service to make the pro-Palestinian lobby look stupid and ridiculous.

Shamelessly pandering to extremists and happy to refer to Saddam Hussein in glowing terms, any pretence at political credibility or even relevance surely went out out the window when he appeared on Celebrity Big Brother dressed in a leotard and pretended to be a cat drinking milk from Rula Lenska's hands (as pictured).

Now regardless of where you stand politically, I'm sure we can all agree that it was hardly the kind of behaviour you would expect from an MP – for example, I couldn't really imagine Winston Churchill doing such a thing.

And he was back to his old tricks at Oxford University last Wednesday.

During a debate with a student about Israel, the student said "we" in relation to that country.

When Galloway discovered that the kid was an Israeli citizen, he immediately harrumphed: "I don't recognise Israel and I don't debate with Israelis" before, along with his Palestinian wife, flouncing out of the room.

George Galloway MP is, for the record, leader of the 'Respect' party.

Respect, it would appear, is a rather selective thing.

Well, the truth hurts . . .

Apparently Sinéad O'Connor (pictured) has a new album out.

I say 'apparently' because I have about as much interest in listening to her music as I do of putting a shotgun in my mouth and pulling the trigger.

But there are still some people who are interested in this car crash and she appeared on The Andrew Marr Show to plug said album.

As you know, Marr is off recovering from a stroke at the moment and his replacement was the extremely capable Eddie Mair – not that O'Connor seemed to think so.

In fact, her performance has been denounced as rude and obnoxious as she rolled her eyes and at one point sneered sarcastically: "Thank you for giving me the best interview I have ever done."

This prompted Jeremy Clarkson to say that she was extremely rude and "bonkers".

This is an absolutely outrageous slur against the woman and should not be tolerated.

After all, everyone knows that the only person allowed to be a rude and obnoxious bully is Sinéad O'Connor herself and anyone who criticises her behaviour is an evil monster who, according to her at least, only picks on her because she is a vulnerable woman.

Yeah. Pull the other one, O'Connor, that record is getting rather tired.

Tastes like chicken?

I'm not really mad about supermarket salads, to be honest.

I remember reading a story when I was a kid about some guy buying a bag of lettuce and when he opened the bag he was greeted by the sight of a load of maggots feasting on the leaves.

That image has never really left my head and, I suppose, as a kid it was also a handy excuse to not eat my greens.

But that story is as nought compared to the one I came across the other day.

James Watson, from Gloucester, had planned a romantic candlelit meal for him and his girlfriend.

He was doing steak and chips and a side salad but when he opened the Tesco salad bag he was rather horrified to be confronted by the decomposing carcass of a dead bird.

Well, I suppose that's one way of deflecting attention from the horse-meat scandal, even if a little extreme.

Tesco immediately apologised and have given the man £200 in vouchers and, interestingly, have also confirmed that the bird is an Eastern European Warbler.

Now, I'm no expert in either the human psyche or ornithology, but somehow I doubt that the couple really cares what the exact genus of the bloody bird in their salad was.

Well, no accounting for taste

I remember talking to Pat Shortt one day when we were on a radio show together.

I was telling him that he always came across as a nice guy and D'Unbelieveables had some good moments early in their career but that his Killanaskully show was truly awful.

His answer was a simple: "Fair enough, Ian. But it's not written for you or people like you."

As friendly put-downs go, it was a bloody good 'un.

And I was thinking of this last week when I saw that Brendan O'Carroll is now worth €9m.

Now, when Mrs Brown's Boys – which I think is rubbish – was being launched in Britain, I reckoned it was going to go down the toilet quicker than a pet alligator who had grown a bit too big.

Not a bit of it.

My wife's English side of the family all go around to one of their houses and they watch it together – it is, for them anyway, event TV.

So, while Mrs Brown's Boys might not have been written, as Shortt said, "for the likes of me", he has managed to make himself a superstar.

And you know what?

Good luck to the man – it's not my cup of tea but, by Jesus, has he worked hard for it.

Irish Independent

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