Well, Mel, that's convenient
Tuesday August 04 2009
Frankly, the demented religious ravings of Mel Gibson would be enough to turn the Pope into the kind of atheist that even Richard Dawkins would regard as a bit of an extremist.
But now, the World's Best Catholic has pulled another stunt -- he got his marriage annulled.
Having been caught several times as an anti-Semitic, homophobic, misogynistic, philandering piss head, Gibson faces losing half his fortune to his long-suffering wife.
But now, in the eyes of Mel, he was never actually married to his wife of 29 years, Robyn, after his father, that well known Holocaust-denier Hutton Gibson, performed a do-it-yourself annulment ceremony on the couple, which of course has no civil standing.
Gibson obtained it on the basis that it was never a real marriage because "he felt pressured into getting married".
Really? Well, that's just pretty much every marriage this column has ever encountered.
But if they were never married does that mean that his seven kids with Robyn were born out of wedlock and are therefore destined to limbo or whatever fairy story the Catholics are peddling these days?
Nice guy, Mel, well done.
AW, SHE'S UPSET
There is nothing funnier than watching entertainers forget what made them famous in the first place and start pontificating on matters they know little or nothing about.
And comedians, invariably, are the worst offenders.
Janeane Garofalo is a typical example of the kind of liberal, ill-informed shouty-mouthy that people hate -- after all, when your most cogent political analysis is to say that anyone who didn't vote for Obama is a racist, you know what you're dealing with.
And she has finally broken her silence on the brilliant movie Team America: World Police, which brilliantly lampooned self-righteous celebrities, including her.
Speaking to the Guardian, she moaned: "I didn't like that at all.
"I didn't see it, but I didn't like it. What am I getting my head blown off for? For speaking out against an immoral, illegal and unjustified invasion and occupation? What they did was cowardly."
Actually sweetheart, what they did was bloody funny -- a topic you wouldn't know anything about.
Isn't it amazing how many comedians have absolutely no sense of humour when it's their turn to have the piss taken out of them?
A RACIST PAKI? SURELY NOT
Sometimes a story comes along that simply brightens your day and gives your whole spirit a lift. That story appeared yesterday with the news of a furious race row at a cricket match.
You wouldn't normally expect a race riot at a cricket match between Dunfermline and Arbroath but a war of words has broken out after an ill tempered match between the two teams, with the Arbroath coach accusing the largely Pakistani and Indian Dunfermline players of calling one of the opposition "A f***ing ginger twat."
You see -- we all have so much more to unite us than divide us: a fear and loathing of gingers.
Well, at least they're useful for something ...
