Tyra -- the cause of all evil
As anyone who watches America's Next Top Model -- or 'ANTM' as dem young folks do be calling it -- will tell you, Tyra Banks is completely, utterly and irredeemably mad.
Between the modelling show and hilarious overwrought talk show, Tyra, she remains an entertainingly ludicrous figure -- although she was rumoured to be rather less than gruntled when The Soup's Joel McHale said: "Here's Ryan Seacrest and Tyra Banks playing Lady and the Tramp ... You figure out which is which."
But it seems that the former model has been embarrassed by the recent riot which took place outside the taping of an episode of ANTM -- see, this column is totally au fait with the jargon -- in New York.
Six people were injured and three were arrested in the mass brawl in Manhattan, which closed down the street.
A shaken Tyra commented: "It is with deep regret that I cannot comment on this issue and I must inform my loyal followers that because I was not personally there at the time of the brawl it didn't obviously actually happen."
One of those arrested was immediately released when a chocolate bar was found in her bag, prompting cops to state: "Look, dude, have you seen these models? There's no way any of them would ever be seen with chocolate."