Thursday 25 December 2014

Tony Blair – the Harold Shipman of politics

Published 17/06/2014 | 02:30

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Former Prime Minister Tony Blair
Chelsea Ferguson

Far be it from me to blow my own trumpet. But nobody else will, so here goes: "The whole conflagration across the Middle East is being portrayed as some fantastically inspiring uprising against tyranny and despots everywhere. There is, however, just one problem – nobody knows who these supposed freedom fighters actually are ... So it will be interesting to see how all the cheerleaders in the media feel in a year's time when the whole region has turned into one giant Saudi Arabia."

That was written in April, 2011.

I may have been wrong to state that the obvious dangers posed by these 'freedom fighters' would become clear to those who bought into the myth within 12 months. But that's the fault of those who stubbornly hung on to the fallacy that the 'rebel alliance' were the good guys, even as they were warning that as soon as they took control of the entire region, they would export their savage caliphate to the rest of the civilised world.

That piece three years ago was hardly a blistering piece of soothsaying – Helen Keller could have confidently predicted that once the West left Iraq as a festering, burned out husk of a country it would embolden jihadists everywhere. After all, everybody knew that once they gained a foothold in Syria, the next logical step was a march southwards into a country that is no longer a country as we know it. We have seen that with the mass desertions of the American-trained Iraqi army who have fled in their tens of thousands from the heroically bloodthirsty ISIS group – and when you have even al-Qa'ida complaining that they're a bit too quick to reach for the beheading knife, you know you're dealing with some bad hombres.

The reasons for the current fun and games in the region are abundantly clear – the West toppled a dictator who had managed to keep a lid on his crazies and who ruthlessly controlled his borders. Then, once they had completely wrecked the gaff, they sacked any former Saddam loyalists from the civil service, the military and the police. And when you consider that the only way to get a job in any of those fields was to be a Saddam loyalist, that was a lot of very pissed off, extremely poor, people running around the place with nothing but the clothes on their back and the gun strapped over their shoulder.

Anyone watching Tony Blair's jaw-dropping performance on Sky News on Sunday morning would have been forgiven for thinking that, as Boris Johnson claimed yesterday, he has "finally gone completely mad."

Speaking to Dermot Murnaghan about the chaos he and Bush left behind, he adopted the Bart Simpson approach to defence – nobody saw me do it and anyway I did what I did for the right reasons and that has absolutely, positively nothing to do with the current hordes of Muslim fanatics who have managed to slice, butcher and terrorise their way to the northern outskirts of Baghdad.

In fact, Blair went even further when he claimed that: "We have to liberate ourselves from the notion that 'we' have caused this. We didn't."

Well, Saddam Hussein certainly didn't.

Now leaving aside the fact that I really don't want Tony Blair 'liberating' us from anything if only on the grounds that his idea of 'liberating' someone seems to be killing them, accusing the current Iraqi regime for this FUBAR, as he is doing, is like deliberately burning down someone's house and then trying to blame them for not having a fire extinguisher.

But if there's one thing to be learned from this fiasco, it is a simple truth – from Libya to Syria, Iraq, Egypt and throughout Africa, the best thing for stability is to have some sort of military dictatorship that keeps the crazies locked in a dungeon somewhere, away from where they can cause carnage.

Instead, Blair and his few remaining cronies remain determined to deny all responsibility for anything currently happening but, thanks to him, we all have something to look forward to – jihad, coming soon to a shopping mall near you.

Yes, community service can be rather trying

For most people, a criminal conviction for a violent offence will usually result in a spell in the big house, so anyone who gets off with community service usually feels lucky. Unless you're a glamour model that is.

English 'model' Sophie Pearl Dalzell received 400 hours of litter cleaning in lieu of a prison sentence when she was done for assaulting a police officer.

Having already refused to wear one of those electronic tag thingies on her ankle because it 'didn't suit' her modelling work, she then missed another court appointment because she went to Belgium to get a boob job. Now she refuses to fulfil the remaining 180 hours of the sentence because: "I don't think the courts should be able to put me on community service, I find it too hard and tiring."

Interestingly, she argues that her new boobs mean all that constant bending over to pick up rubbish is physically difficult and emotionally stressful. Of course, if the judge wants her to experience something genuinely stressful he could always just send her to jail for the original sentence. But she'd probably sue on the grounds that her massive hooters would make her a target from the other lags.

And, considering how demented the legal system in Britain has become, she'd probably win.

Sure isn't it grand to get a bit of glamour?

So, a few venues have decided to book an English Twitter stripper, Chelsea Ferguson, for their Leaving Cert parties.

This has caused a hot flush with parents who don't like the idea of their precious sons looking at some uncovered female flesh, but Ms Ferguson says she is looking forward to the dates as: "They don't have celebrities in Ireland. When I go there, it's like I'm David Beckham or something."

This is outrageous and insulting – after all, did several dozen Irish models not die while posing in their knickers on Grafton Street, only for some foreign trollop to come over and steal potential work for our own, home grown, bikini girls?

When will this Government step up and do more to protect Irish jobs?

Bloody disgrace, mate, that's what it is ...

Ian O'Doherty

Irish Independent

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