Set your faces to stunned – One Direction are people too
Just imagine you're a young lad. Maybe a young lad from a quiet backwater like, oh, I dunno, Mullingar. Then a fairy godfather called something like, oh, I dunno, Simon Cowell, comes along and waves his magic wand.
Before you know it, you're part of the biggest boyband of the decade and you're richer than you've ever dreamed possible. Seventeen million quid richer, apparently.
It is better than winning the Lotto and opens up a life of unimaginable opportunities and happiness – if you play it right.