Really? That's the best you got?
Where do you stand on Simon Cowell? Well, unless you're a hormonal teenage girl or want to be on one of his talent contests, then the chances are you wouldn't mind standing on his head. Repeatedly.
But here's the thing that people seem to be missing – Cowell is this generation's Stock Aitken and Waterman. He's just the latest pop Svengali to take the charts by the throat and squeeze until there's no breath left. But he's hardly the anti-Christ.
Yet to listen to people who know better, you'd swear he was some sort of tone-deaf imp sent by Satan to ruin music.