The spanking given to Derry City FC by the FAI, which has kicked them out of the league for financial irregularities, will certainly have plenty of other clubs in the country looking nervously over their shoulders.

After all, despite the best efforts of many people, and some undeniable progress in recent years, the financial state of Irish football clubs has always been shrouded in the kind of labyrinthine secrecy that would make a Vatican accountant wince with admiration.

And, understandably, the Derry officials are not amused.

In fact, after the decision on Saturday, they were quick to mutter dark threats, with one club official warning: "We are currently exploring any possibility of any type of appeal procedure within the FAI or via a court of law in Dublin or Belfast."

Belfast? Belfast?

Lads, you seem a bit confused -- a court in the United Kingdom has no jurisdiction over the sovereign state of the Republic Of Ireland.

Not that you foreigners ever pay attention to that.

Hey, he was suffering too

There was relief all round yesterday when Major Nidal Malik Hasan came out of his coma and was able to talk to doctors.

After all, with any luck they can get whatever information they need before promptly executing him.

But the reaction to his murder spree in Fort Hood, where he killed 13 people before being shot by an already wounded police officer has been a strange one.

As a trained psychologist, Hasan would recognise the technical term to describe him -- complete looper -- but it seems it wasn't really his fault.

Yup, despite being on the record as having said that to colleagues that non-believers should be beheaded and have boiling oil poured down their throats -- presumably he wanted to pour the oil down their throats before beheading them, otherwise that would simply be a waste of perfectly good fuel -- as well as saying "I am a Muslim before I am an American and I put Sharia before the US Constitution" it seems he wasn't acting out of extremism. Rather, he was suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome -- of the soldiers he counselled.

That's one of the official theories that is being floated around and it's certainly a new one -- a soldier going mental not because of the trauma he suffered in a combat theatre, but because of the trauma suffered by his patients.

Interestingly, military officials have issued a statement saying they don't "want to focus on his Muslim background".

And they're right, of course.

Because the facts that he wanted to kill infidels, praised suicide bombers and wanted to convert America are all entirely irrelevant.

Well, it's a living ...

Short of money at the moment? Fancy picking up some spare spending money?

Well, you could always take a leaf out of Xiao Lin's book.

The Chinese gym coach has decided to become a punching bag for stressed out women.

"I can make a lot more money by doing this and it also helps the women who are stressed out. It is good for everyone?

A bloke being treated as a punching bag by a stressed-out woman?

That's just called marriage, isn't it?

Will someone please think about the children

Buckle up, kiddies, because here we go again.

Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was released yesterday to the delight of everyone. Well, nearly everyone, that is.

With depressing predictability, Labour MP Keith Vaz was quick to hop on the hysterical train, warning that: "It contains such scenes of brutality that even the manufacturers have put in warnings within the game telling people how they can skip particular scenes."

The hugely anticipated game, which has already shifted thousands of units in Ireland and looks likely to be the biggest seller of the year, sees the player attempt to infiltrate a terrorist cell and one level -- which can be skipped if you want to -- sees you storm into an airport with the potential to kill civilians.

And Vaz, the complete charlatan who wasn't so squeamish when he was voting in favour of invading Iraq, further pushed the boat out when he bleated: "This isn't about censorship, this is about protecting children."

Look, for the last time, people: playing violent computer games does not make you violent.

In fact, I recently took part in a radio debate with an anti-gamer campaigner who claims that obsessive gamers emulate the violent scenes they play.

Thankfully, I checked the inventory box I had brought with me into the studio and discovered the hidden pick axe which I was able to use to dispatch her before stealing her car and running down some civilians for extra kill points. Honestly, when will these puritans stop giving out about computer games?

DVD time

Far superior to the wildly over-rated British version, The Office: An American Workplace sees Steve Carrell and the brilliant Rainn Wilson star in one of the greatest comedy creations of recent years.

Taking the British template but mixing the oppressive political correctness which smothers American offices, it's a joy to watch.

Sample quote: "This our receptionist Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a few years ago."

Essential sounds

He's a divisive figure in the admittedly rather niche market of the white neo-blues folk hybrid but there's no doubt that Sea Sick Steve is a fascinating character.

Looking more like he should be begging outside a venue rather than appearing on stage, he has attracted a large following in Ireland, where he can fill the Olympia.

Check out last year's I Started Out With Nothing And I Still Got Most Of It Left.

Irish Independent