Ian O'Doherty: Well, that's considerate of them
There's the Full English and then there's the ... well, the super-sized Full English.
A diner in Norfolk is offering a fry called the 'Kidz Breakfast' -- because it weighs as much as a baby.
Hungry punters have to munch their way through 6,000 calories, consisting of 12 rashers, 12 sausages, an eight-egg omelette with potato, hash browns and, oh, you get the gist, there's a lot of food.
At a time when health authorities are talking about an obesity time bomb waiting to explode in Britain, critics have slammed the stunt as incredibly unhealthy, particularly as anyone who actually manages to finish the plate off is not charged for their meal.
But it would appear that the message about healthy eating and looking after our bodies hasn't totally escaped the proprietor's attentions.
And the reason?
He refuses to sell coffee with the fry-up: "Caffeine is bad for you," he says.
Obviously, he's saying that out of concern for his patrons and not the fact that a big mug of coffee might help the punters wash the food down?
When will they learn?
America is a great country and for all its flaws, it can easily claim to be the greatest nation on earth.
Sure, they lose their way every now and then.
The fact that Mitt Romney, potentially the next president, and his family converted his father-in-law to Mormonism is one example.
Not that the conversion itself, is odd, you understand. No, it's the fact that the father-in-law was an atheist who was already dead that makes it noteworthy.
But the country's founding principles are sound.
However, even the biggest lover of America will admit that their immigration service could improve.
From a country that invented the phrase 'have a nice day', airport immigration officials all seem to be permanently pissed off that they were born too late to be concentration camp guards and so take it out on the rest of us.
But it would seem some people haven't copped on to that.
Pals Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting were planning a nice trip to the States and were having a conversation on Twitter when Van Bryan tweeted that he couldn't "Wait to destroy America . . . dig up Marilyn Monroe's bones."
Unfortunately for them, the authorities became aware of what had been said and detained them for 12 hours in LAX before kicking them out of the country.
This leads to some interesting question, namely -- why are the Americans so paranoid about people coming into their country?
It's almost as if they are afraid of something bad happening.
I wonder why?
As usual, I have a solution
This is, apparently, a time of austerity.
A time when we need to atone for our "mad spending" (since when is buying a home mad spending, Enda?) and tighten our belts and cut our cloth and live within our means and invent even more clichés and euphemisms.
Because of this we need our glorious leadership to be in tip-top physical and mental condition as they battle the savage hordes of Europe in their efforts to look out for us, the little people.
So I was rather appalled to see Minister for Health James Reilly being so unfairly picked on over the news that has used tax payers' money to buy two €600 coffee machines for his two offices.
This, he says, is because he works so long and hard that sometimes he needs to perk up and: "The restaurant is quite a long way from his corridor."
No, I feel the minister's pain.
I also have a coffee machine in my house.
It's called a kettle and a jar of Maxwell House.
Although it would be churlish to expect someone like Dr Reilly to slum it like that, obviously.
Okay – sign me up!
As regular readers will undoubtedly have deduced by now, I didn't go to college. But if I had, I know the course I would want to do -- New Jersey College's Department of Women and Gender Studies' new course, 'Politicising Beyoncé' which, they say: "Will explore Beyoncé's political and cultural influence on the Western world."
The course, however, is taught by Kevin Allred, who happens to be a white guy.
But he is aware of the irony, saying: "I am aware that I am not a woman and I am not black. It's something I'm always questioning."
I know the feeling. I've lost count of the number of times I've wondered to myself: "Am I a black woman?"
Weirdly, the answer is always a resounding no.
Now that’s what you call tolerance
I've never liked former Wimbledon hard man John Fashanu and the footballer went even lower in my estimation with his comments yesterday about his gay brother, Justin, who committed suicide after John disowned him.
Now, you might think that he'd be feeling remorseful by now. But you'd be wrong.
In fact, he says that: "Justin was selfish, because to come out and not care, not worry about anybody else and tell the world that you're gay at a time when it was so hostile . . ."
Yes, being a black footballer coming out as gay in a society that was riven with racism and homophobia was obviously an act of selfishness and not, as one may have assumed, incredible courage.
What a nice brother.
Irish Independent
