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Monday 15 September 2014

Ian O'Doherty: Well, that seems reasonable

Published 26/10/2012 | 06:00

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As the American election looms ever nearer -- regardless of political affiliation you have to admit that it's the most exciting night of the year -- it seems tempers are rising.

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Both candidates will more than likely feel that they should have already had this poll in the bag, but such is their strange and clumsy mixture of mis-speaking, bad judgment and general, all-round lack of leadership, things hang by a thread.

And when elections are this close, people tend to get a bit, well, they tend to get a bit touchy. To say the least.

This column has already reported on how many black Twitter users have threatened to assassinate Romney if he wins.

No, the racial fault lines in the States have become a sadly undeniable elephant in the corner of the room and I know some Americans who are genuinely worried that this will be the most divisive US election in living memory.

But while it appears that it's okay for blacks to talk about 'killing whitey' and, in another tweet ' shooting all honkies if Romney wins' the shoe most certainly does not fit on the other foot.

No, any criticism of Obama is now seen as some sort of admission that you're in the KKK.

Just ask Chicago shop owner Sam Wolfson.

Now we all know that Chicago is Obama's home turf, so it takes someone with cojones to criticise the man, but that's exactly what Wolfson has done with some anti-Obama signs in his shop.

And his reward?

Well, he has been branded a racist by some local politicians and there are now calls for him to be boycotted, as well as some more serious threats on anti-social media.

Now, is it just me, or have the rules been changed to say that anyone who finds fault with Obama is a nasty bigot while anyone who threatens to kill Mitt Romney is merely a minority expressing their own opinion?

Hello pot, have you met kettle?

There are none so funny as those without a sense of humour.

And laydeez und junnelmen, I give you the example of Chris de Burgh.

I remember ringing him a good few years back looking for a quote and he was, to be frank, rude and dismissive.

I thought no more about it until I got a call from his agent in London demanding that I never contact 'Mr de Burgh' ever again.

When I pointed out that talking to him had been most definitely business and certainly not a pleasure, she took umbrage that someone would have the temerity not to have felt honoured to be in contact with him, no matter how briefly.

Now he has really excelled himself with his comments about Indy interviewer Deborah Ross and how she was short, ginger and had bad breath.

Really, Chris.

When you look like someone who lives under a toadstool you might be better served laying off on the personalised insults.

Just a thought.

Really? Are you really, really sure about that?

Well, are you like, really and totally, y'know, buzzed about the latest device?

I am referring, in case you didn't know, to the launch of the new iPad Mini and what is referred to as "a beefed-up 4th-generation version of the existing standard-sized tablet".

But I do find the self-importance of techno-geeks to be reliably entertaining.

As he launched the new beefed-up . . . whatever it is, Apple's Phil Schiller boasted that: "This is the most amazing thing ever."

Really?

So, I suppose the glorious vista of a summer sunset over the Pacific, or the music of Brian Wilson or the sight of some happy dogs larking in a field are less amazing than . . . "a beefed-up 4th-generation version of the existing standard-sized tablet".

Really, I think someone needs to get out of the house a bit more.

Can you hear the world's smallest violin?

Well, I hope you can sleep easily at night, because I know I can't.

And the reason?

Well, the lovely, charming developer Tom McFeely has had a lot to put up with of late.

First we had those nasty people from Priory Hall moaning just because they have nowhere to live and now this poor man, who is victimised in the 'Free State' because he is a 'Nordie' says NAMA have forced his family on to "the side of the road".

Well, maybe he can ask the people from Priory Hall who are living in temporary accommodation because of him if he can doss on their couch.

I'd love to see their response, that's for sure.

That's her put back in her box

Regardless of where you stand politically, I think we can all agree that Ann Coulter is a pretty reprehensible person.

During this week's Presidential debate, she repeatedly tweeted the word 'retarded' in relation to Obama's statements.

This has prompted a truly brilliant response from Special Olympian John Franklin Stephens who wrote an open letter in which he says: "I'm a 30-year-old man with Down syndrome who has struggled with the public's perception that an intellectual disability means that I am dumb and shallow.

"I am neither of those things, but I do process things more slowly than the rest of you. In fact it has taken me all day to figure out how to respond to your use of the 'R' word last night."

The letter continues in that vein and makes Coulter look like a complete witch.

Check it out online, it really is a beautiful and dignified put-down of a woman who is neither of those things.

Irish Independent

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