Tuesday 17 October 2017

Ian O'Doherty: Truly, she is the Messiah

Obviously, Angelina Jolie is The Greatest Person Alive and anyone who dissents from that categorical fact should be taken outside and whipped with some Fair Trade bamboo cane.

Just look at all the wars she has stopped after she visited the countries involved and so dazzled were the combating sides that they put down their arms and started weaving baskets instead.

Just look at how any orphan child in the Third World can sleep easily at night, despite the crippling hunger pains and weakness due to malnourishment, safe in the knowledge that there is always the possibility Her Worthiness will swoop by and adopt them.

Please sign in or register with Independent.ie for free access to Opinions.

Sign In

Independent.ie Comments Facility

INM has taken the decision to remove the commenting facility on its online platform Independent.ie to minimise the legal risk to our business that arises from Ireland's draconian libel awards system.

We continue to look forward to receiving comments through direct email contact or via social media, some of which may still be featured on the website Independent.ie

Don't Miss