Ian O'Doherty: Stephen -- a gay homophobe?
Free pass: The thought police aren't lashing out at Fry
Like most minority groups, the gay lobby tends to be rather touchy when it comes to any perceived criticism.
Indeed, I wrote a piece last year in support of gay marriage but pointed out that campaigning for gay rights and equal treatment while wearing assless leather chaps and a handlebar moustache probably wasn't the right way to go about things.
Cue immediate outrage, letters of complaint, calls for my sacking and, interestingly, demands that I immediately receive corrective counselling to rid me of my rampant homophobia -- quite an interesting tactic when you consider that only 30 years ago, homosexuality was seen as a mental disease which could be cured with, you guessed it, corrective counselling.
So, it'll be interesting to see how the thought police react to Stephen Fry's remarks that: "If women liked sex as much as men there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, 'God, I've got to get rocks off' or they'd go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush."
Reducing the perception of gay men to that of them being simply rapacious horn dogs with permanent priapism and no morals is exactly the kind of misperception the gay community struggles against, so expect to hear a loud chorus of condemnation levelled at Fry (opens window, listens for half an hour, only audible noise is the chirping of crickets and the occasional tumbleweed).
Ah well, he's gay so he gets a free pass, eh lads?
Oh, Stephen, by the way, there are straight cruising areas -- it's called dogging.
Ahem, well, so I've been told but I obviously couldn't possibly comment ...
Well, Benny will be happy. . .
So, how have the heavy rains in Asia impacted on you? A little? A lot? Not at all? Well, that's going to change soon my friend -- if you're a condom user.
The monsoons, the mud slides and the general awfulness of the weather there for the last few months has completely buggered -- if you'll pardon the expression -- the local rubber plantations.
And, as a result of this, the price of rubber has gone through the roof, causing the cost of condoms to skyrocket.
This has come as bad news for people on the front line of fighting AIDS through the use of condoms; although there are two groups of people who will be delighted with the news -- followers of the Pope who share his disgust for these items, and reckless lads who don't like using them.
You can just imagine the conversation. "I'm sorry, honey, but due to the current inclement climatic conditions in South East Asia I'm afraid we're going to have to cuddle without a condom."
Yup, I'd like to see how that argument plays out.
Never mind the logic -- just feel the arrogance ...
Let's face it -- we have all had enough of this bloody Government.
In fact, even in the few weeks I was out of the country, resentment and anger towards the current administration seems to have magnified.
And who could blame us for being angry? After all, our overlords still seem unaware of just how monumentally pissed off us little people are with their behaviour.
So, under these circumstances, we need cool heads, logical, mature thinking and a forensic approach to getting out of the mess we're in.
And then, on the other hand, you have those spanners from the Far Left -- Republican group, eirigi.
Yesterday saw an interesting communication between Mary Harney -- or '26-County Minister For Health', as they put it -- and eirigi councillor Louise Minihan.
Did Minihan explain to Harney how a socialist approach would improve the health service?
Did Minihan argue for further nationalisation of the service and eradication of private health care on the basis that it discriminated against the poor?
You know, did she articulate any of the Left's arguments about health care provision?
No.
She fecked a tin of red paint at her.
Well done, eirigi, for reminding people just how fatuous, stupid and politically irrelevant you lot really are.
All hail king . . . Wayne?
Having screwed his club and infuriated the fans, Wayne Rooney has now come to symbolise everything that is wrong and out of touch with the modern game.
And yesterday saw yet another example of just how the other half lives.
Upon landing at Manchester airport after his holiday in Dubai, he walked directly off the jet and straight into a waiting car that sat idling on the runway, avoiding customs and passport control in the process before receiving a police escort for their journey home.
And the reason? Well, according to a spokesman for the airport: "We do this for high profile people, like the Royal Family."
Yup, we have well and truly gone down the rabbit hole . . .
Ian Spied
Couch Potato
It doesn't start until Friday (FX, 10pm) but already the countdown has begun for The Walking Dead, Frank Darabont's hugely anticipated zombie drama.
Zombies seem to have become the new vampires, and this new series, which sees Andrew Lincoln playing a sheriff crossing the country to find his family after a zombie apocalypse, could be the TV event of the year.
Trust me -- the online clips look amazing, and this should be a real treat.
Although the last TV show I recommended was The Pacific and that was something of a damp squib, so don't blame me if this doesn't rock your boat . . .
Book Worm
Any fan of modern Gothic needs to get their hand on Shirley Jackson's seminal work, The Lottery and Other Stories, a collection that exudes a sense of dread from each page.
The title story, about a town that has an interesting way of guaranteeing a good harvest, is rightly regarded as a modern classic, but the other stories are fantastic as well.
- Ian O'Doherty
Irish Independent
