Ian O'Doherty: Okay, a table for two please
Frankly, if I never had to look at another child ever again that would suit me right down to the ground. I don't care how cute you think your kid is; or how clever or precocious or brilliant or stimulating -- they're not.
The only reason you think that way is because biology has given you an in-built mechanism fooling you into thinking your child is special -- otherwise, once faced with the prospect of spending at least the next 18 years and god knows how much money in the company of a tedious, dull, boring mini-me you'd immediately run down to the nearest clinic to have the snip.
So, may ISpy be the first to congratulate the Old Saltee restaurant in North Carolina, which has declared a 'no screaming kid' policy.