Ian O'Doherty: He does have a saving grace, after all
Thursday March 04 2010
In the run-up to last night's friendly between England and Egypt, the Egyptian coach, Hassan Shehata, declared that he would have kicked both Ashley Cole and John Terry out of the World Cup if he had a choice, saying that their behaviour was 'immoral'.
Indeed, as someone who freely admits that he will only pick Muslims for the Egyptian team, he would probably have had them flogged and the women killed.
But, in fairness, at least Cole seems to be showing an unusually humane side to him -- in regards to his dogs.
According to reports: "The England and Chelsea footballer and his estranged wife have agreed a temporary custody arrangement over chihuahuas Buster, four, and Coco, three."
Custody of dogs in the wake of a marriage break-up can be a touchy subject.
Indeed, the only reason ISpy's marriage is still intact is because we threatened to form a group called 'Dog-Owners For Justice' and dress up as Batman and scale the Dail buildings if we didn't get custody of Molly and Sam.
And there's a lesson there for you all -- sometimes proving that you have absolutely no dignity or self-respect whatsoever means that people are so embarrassed for you, you get your own way.
Hence -- the marriage is still on.
For the moment, anyway.
SHUCKS, HIS FEELINGS ARE HURT
Welcome to instalment 127 of Muslims claiming offence and whingeing about something completely irrelevant.
A pub in Dundee has opened and it's a Moroccan theme bar called 'Bar Medina'.
And, according to one particularly sensitive soul, Mohammed Bashir Chohan of the Dundee Islamic Society -- number of members? One -- "People are upset about it because Medina is a holy city. It does hurt when somebody misuses the name, especially if they are going to sell liquor".
Presumably Mr Chohan isn't a fan of hip-hop.
After all, the great Tone Loc had a hit with 'Funky Cold Medina' a few years back -- it was a paean to the joys of drinking a peach and cranberry cocktail.
WELL, YOU CAN'T BLAME HIM . . .
Step forward to accept your award as father of the year, Keith McDonald.
McDonald, from Sunderland, is only 24 yet has managed to father eight children -- with eight different women.
The women, who all share that same look of docile, bovine stupidity, have now come forward and said that he should be forced to have a vasectomy.
Now, many people start a relationship with someone who has a child from a previous hook-up, but honestly, by the time you get to the fourth and fifth child with different women, let alone the bloody seventh, you'd think they might at the very least use some sort of protection.
But that would be a value judgment on these people and we're not meant to do that, of course.
Not surprisingly, McDonald is on the dole and he moans that it's not fair that he doesn't get any benefits for his brood, even though he never sees them.
He also claims incapacity benefit for 'a bad back.'
Well, in fairness to the man, when you spend that much time producing your own football team of kids, it's no surprise that you'd eventually slip a disc or two.
- Ian O'Doherty
Irish Independent
