Ian O'Doherty: Graham Norton – sure he was never really Irish anyway
If Ireland was a person, she'd be a groupie – a groupie who's had one too many drinks and wants the star to know she is their Number One Fan.
Garth Brooks is the most recent example – plenty of Irish people love Garth Brooks which, in a democracy, is their right. But even more Irish people love Garth Brooks mainly because Garth Brooks tells us that he loves us back.
But at the heart of every groupie lies an Annie Wilkes, the leg-hobbling nutter from Misery. In short, we expect certain concessions from our stars, and we demand to be their number one priority – and woe betide anyone who forgets that just because we love them they better love us back. And if we feel we're not uppermost in their minds at all times, then we tend to get rather prickly – to the point of quite fantastic daftness.