News Ian O'Doherty

Monday 1 September 2014

Ian O'Doherty: As ever, I have the solution

Published 23/10/2012 | 06:00

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I know a volunteer for the DSPCA, which is currently housing those puppies who were rescued from being exported to England.

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She says that last week saw record numbers of people turning up at their Rathfarnham-based shelter to see the dogs.

And while the animals are still considered 'evidence' and therefore unavailable for adoption, the incident has by all accounts led to an increase in adoptions.

Which, I think we can all agree, is a Very Good Thing.

After all, there are many ways you can judge a society, and how you treat animals is a key indicator.

But it would appear that Dun Laoghaire/Rathdown council don't have the same sentiments towards doggies.

Much to the fury of dog owners in their catchment area they have banned all dogs from beaches along Sandycove and Seapoint.

It's a ridiculous and punitive ruling -- after all, anyone who has ever walked along the beach on a bracingly cold day with their dog will know what a rewarding experience that can be.

But it turns out the new prohibition is a result of pressure from local swimmers who, despite more than 5,000 people signing a petition against the new by-law, have complained about dogs being near them.

In one part of their statement they say that: "Dogs are unpredictable around children on the beach."

So, the answer is simple -- just ban children from the beaches and let the dogs run free.

I guess I'm just a hardliner, what can I say?

Jimmy Savile. Ain't ya just sick of him?

Really? Seriously? Honestly?

Can you definitely, with your hand on your heart, say that you were surprised when it emerged that Jimmy Savile was a sick sex pervert who abused his position to sate his deranged appetites?

For God's sake, even when I was a kid I had a hinky feeling about the man and knew instinctively that he was a bad 'un.

It wasn't just the fact that he looked odd, it wasn't just the 'now then, now then' irritating catchphrase, it was simply the way you could see him leering at the kids he spoke to.

In fact, he always struck me as a particularly weird Willy Wonka.

And let's be honest, Willy Wonka was pretty weird himself.

No, it was clear to anyone with half a functioning brain that there was something wrong with the guy, so I'm rather amazed at the expressions of incredulity coming from so many people who knew him and worked with him.

But last Friday another victim of Savile's depravity emerged.

And this time it wasn't someone who had been a vulnerable child.

No, it was 50-year-old Jimmy Savile impersonator, Dave Case, from Somerset, who has had to put down his cigar and Savile wig because he says: "It just seems wrong and there's no demand for it."

Somehow I doubt that there will too much sympathy for you, Dave.

Top police work, lads. Good job

It's the latest in what seems like an almost daily stream of stories regarding British cops and their, well, less-than-exemplary performance -- you know the drill, letting people drown because elf'n'safety won't let them intervene.

And cops in Lancashire have truly excelled themselves.

Having received reports of a man wandering around town wielding a samurai sword, they immediately despatched a crack team of local officers.

And they promptly got their man.

Well, not really.

Having witnessed the suspect they immediately started shouting at him to stop, which he refused to do and continued to wield his intimidating sword.

So, when the miscreant refused to obey the commands, they did what every cop wants to do -- they Tasered him with 50,000 volts.

That'll learn him, eh?

Just one problem -- the samurai-wielding thug was actually Colin Farmer, a blind, 61-year-old stroke victim and the 'samurai sword' they saw was actually his white stick.

Still, if they let every elderly, blind stroke victim wander around thinking they can do what they want, then there would just be anarchy, wouldn't there?

I reckon someone's chances of a promotion have gone for a Burton, that's for sure.

To the lawyer mobile!

People have been complaining about the current, second season of Homeland but I reckon they're missing the point. A show like this needs a few episodes to set things up and by that very nature it's going to start slowly -- although last Tuesday's episode reached a rather off conclusion.

But as much as some fans are annoyed with it, their feelings are nought as compared to the Lebanese Government.

A recent episode saw Carrie (pictured, played by Claire Danes) venture into Beirut and now the Lebanese Tourist Minister wants to sue the producers for their portrayal of the city as a "city full of terrorists and people who would kidnap you".

Kidnap in Beirut? What an outrageous slur.

Although I'm sure Terry Waite, Brian Keenan and all the others who were kidnapped in that city might have a slightly different point of view.

Yup, he's a respectable politician. Or not

Honestly, he gives racist bigots a bad name.

I'm talking, of course, about our friend Nick Griffin of the BNP.

And now Griffin has had to suffer the ignominy of being banned from Twitter after he posted the home address of a gay couple who had sued a B&B.

He then informed them and warned them to expect a visit to their home from 'The British Justice Party'.

Griffin then claimed society was 'heterophobic'.

And you know what?

He's right.

Speaking as a straight man, I for one feel victimised and ostracised on a daily basis.

Irish Independent

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