Thursday 23 October 2014

Fancy a boycott? OK, go for it

Published 28/07/2014 | 02:30

Garda probe after man pulls knife on children before stealing their smartphones
Michael Moore

Well, there was the incredibly inspiring march and demo that started at the GPO and ended at the Russian embassy in Rathgar to protest against the despicable shooting down of the Malaysian jet.

Then, of course, there was the stirring demo outside the Iranian consulate in Blackrock to protest against the continued and entirely open and official persecution of Christians and gays.

After all, the news last week that a Christian had has lips mutilated with a lit cigarette as punishment for being seen to eat during Ramadan appalled so many people - Christians, Muslims and non-believers alike - that they just had to take to the streets to vent their fury at such state-sponsored savagery.

And then there was the protest outside the GPO where Irish-based Muslims blocked O'Connell Street for an hour. That protest is the first recorded march where Muslims used the banner 'Not in our Name' to condemn the Islamic savagery of ISIS.

That shower of barely human Neanderthals have really showed their true colours with their announcement that all women in Mosul (not just the young girls, as if that would somehow make it any better) must present themselves for genital mutilation.

ISIS, after all, poses the biggest threat to Muslims in the world right now and its members are so crazy that even al-Qa'ida think they're completely mad.

Or what about the small but determined gathering to express solidarity with European Jews, who are now witnessing 
persecution and violence on the streets of Paris and Berlin and Vienna in a way not seen since the unpleasantness in the 1940s?

Or how about those football fans who were disgusted to see the players of Maccabi Haifa attacked by Turkish Muslims when they played Lille in a friendly last week and who made a gesture of solidarity at numerous League of Ireland grounds over the weekend?

And then there was the inspiring backlash by the people of Dun Laoghaire who were disgusted by the actions of some little toe-rag from the ludicrous People Before Profit rabble who forcibly took down the Israeli flag at a children's regatta. After all, political differences can be put aside when you're dealing children who are 
non-combatants

Oh wait. Hang on. There were no such protests. Because protesting against such things might have forced the participants to ask hard questions of themselves.

And we know, from bitter history, that the only thing the average protester hates more than Fox News is asking hard questions about their cause.

But if your cause allows you to be cool with humiliating a bunch of children because of their origin, or if you're morally untroubled by Muslim immigrants to Europe chanting about sending Europeans to the gas chambers, then at least admit what you are - a fascist.

No, of course, you're not. You're proudly left wing and believe in tolerance - which is why you want to boycott Israel, rather than examine your own conscience.

So, go on then, boycott Israel.

But remember to dump your mobile phone, your laptop and any other electronic device you have because they all use kit made by Israeli companies.

But if you give up all your electronic gear in protest at the actions of the Jews (don't be fooled by the fatuous distinctions between 'anti-Semitic' and 'anti-Israeli', that line has largely ceased to exist) then how will you be able to go on Twitter and Facebook to tell the world about your boycott?

Here's the deal - if you dump all your gear, then you can say you're engaged in a boycott.

Until then you're
 just another poser.

And a phoney to boot.

Next we fart Paris?

Proving that some people really have taken the Monty Python come-back a little too far, one English inventor has come up with possibly the single most pointless invention known to man - a giant fart machine. Colin Furze says he plans to build the device, which the world has somehow managed to live without for all these years, and when it's done, he says "I'm going to bring it down to the cliffs of Dover and see if they can hear the giant fart 21 miles away in Calais".

Now, I'm as up for a good fart as the next man, assuming the next man doesn't really like fart jokes.

He explains his decision on the grounds that "my neighbours always say that I make too much noise, so I decided if I could make a noise that our neighbours across the Channel could hear".

Two things are immediately apparent - this bloke must be a bloody nightmare to live beside but, apart from that, we should probably just be grateful that he's not spending all his time on some sort of amateur doomsday device.

The thing is though - if a giant machine farts in Dover, will anybody hear? Will some eccentric. rival French inventor come up with a giant, projectile vomit cannon to strike back at les ros boeufs?

Of course, if the French stay true to type they will probably just come up with a hugely expensive device which will emit the world's most spectacular shrug of disdain?

Oh, the 1pc

 Michael Moore is a bit like that guy who used to be interesting in school but now you avoid him whenever possible, putting your past dalliances with him down to youthful naivety.

The man who should have been forced to return his Oscar after he admitted fabricating footage in Bowling For Columbine has become increasingly irrelevant and ridiculous as his lies have been exposed. But now it appears that the guy who liked to rile against the 1pc-ers certainly knows his target - because he's one of them.

In an increasingly vicious divorce battle, it emerged that the self-professed man of the people actually owns nine homes, including a 
multimillion-dollar condo in Manhattan.

He kept that bit quiet when he was toadying up to the anti-capitalist Occupy movement, that's for sure...

Ian O'Doherty

Irish Independent

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