Aha! So that's the reason
Thursday August 27 2009
The strange case of South African runner Caster Semenya has now truly taken a turn for the surreal.
The "is she/isn't she a woman" row was initially provoked by one of her losing competitors and it has provoked a flurry of controversy to such a degree that you have to feel sorry for him/her.
After all, athletics has been dogged by gender bending for years -- indeed, one only need to look back at those Eastern European female competitors who all looked like Giant Haystacks to be allowed to be a little sceptical about Semenya.
But if you are sceptical, then you're a filthy, rotten good-for-nothing racist.
According to the Communist League of South Africa, the controversy "feeds into the commercial stereotypes of how a woman should look as perpetuated by backward Eurocentric definition of beauty. It is this culture which has forced many Africans to starve themselves with the objective of reaching the model ramps of Paris and Milan".
We all know there are plenty of people starving in Africa, but we've never been told before it's because they want to become a model.
Looks like Geldof got it arseways.
LADS, LOOK AWAY NOW
There must be something about Welsh blokes that makes them do terrible things to themselves.
You may recall the story of the young Welsh rugby fan who was so overcome with excitement after the Taffs won the Grand Slam a few years back that he promptly went home and cut off his goolies with a scissors, which even the most broadminded among us would admit is a rather unusual celebration.
And now 61-year-old former soldier and married father of four, Roland Mery, can join the exclusive club of lads who have performed a penectomy.
Our hero(ine) had always felt more like a woman than a man but couldn't bear to wait the two years it would take to have surgery, so he took matters into his own hands, so to speak.
"Telling his wife, Julie, that he had a headache, he took some painkillers and went up to the bathroom. There, he performed the surgery himself."
Commenting to Welsh media, our hero(ine) said: "My priority was to get rid of it all, but obviously you have to be careful".
Well, he has a point -- if you're going to cut off the one piece of the anatomy that should never, ever, ever be cut off, you don't want to be too casual, do you?
LADIES -- PAY ATTENTION
It seems former feminazi Fay Weldon has seen the light and turned her back on her wicked ways. The 77-year-old author, for long a leading beacon of the evil movement which sought equal rights for women (boooo!), has finally admitted that she got it all wrong.
Well, she kinda did.
Speaking yesterday, she said: "At work, gender should not come into it. Women are right to refuse to make the coffee, but when you get home, I'm afraid you have to make the coffee. It's such a waste of time trying to tell your husband to pick up the socks or clean the loo. It's much easier to do it."
But methinks she might be a bit confused. Since ISpy moved into our secret lair a few years back, we have never once cleaned the loo and yet it is always clean, so you see, it obviously must be a self-cleaning loo.
Silly woman.
