WHO'D have thought it? Who'd have guessed that Monsieur Nicolas Paul Stephane Sarkozy de Nagy-Bocsa, President of France, would turn into a wimp?

The man who was flagged as the tough guy who'd put manners on us has embarrassed Brian Cowen. He's split Fianna Fail. He's made Eamon Gilmore look rebellious. He's given Enda Kenny a shot of testosterone. He's given every two-bit backbencher in the country the right to treat him as a punchbag. Big Bad Sarkozy has turned into Little Nicky Sarko.

After the Lisbon Treaty was voted down, by the only electorate in Europe allowed vote on it, Mr Sarkozy announced he was coming over to talk to us. It's like when a schoolteacher (Brian Cowen) loses control of the class (us) and the headmaster (Big Bad Sarkozy) comes stomping down the corridor, eyes ablaze beneath his fearsome brow.

Mr Cowen, already in flitters after such a comprehensive referendum defeat, put a brave face on it. His glassy smile hid whatever obscenities he might be muttering. Bloody hell -- this is all I need, a bollocking from Mr Bruni.

In a functioning democracy, after a high turnout and a decisive rejection of the Lisbon Treaty, Mr Cowen had a democratic duty. That duty was to go to Brussels, to meet his fellow leaders and represent the views of his electorate. That involved saying something like the following.

"Sorry lads, the Irish voted down the Lisbon Treaty. As you know, that was not my wish, but it's now the official position of my country and as a democrat I'll represent that position with total commitment. Under EU rules, the Lisbon Treaty is now dead."

When ignorant gobshites raised the threat of a "two-speed Europe", it was Cowen's duty to stalwartly defend the unity and principles of the EU. When they insinuated we would be "punished", or somehow removed from the EU, it was his duty to demand an immediate retraction of the threat and an apology.

Anything less was a betrayal of his public duty -- and a betrayal of the supposed principles of the EU project itself.

He might have said, Hey, you like referendums? Why not hold one for your own electorate?

When veiled threats were made -- as they were -- he might have responded with a naked threat.

Stop the bullying, or the Irish Government will fund opinion polls in Britain, Germany and France, to allow your people say what they think of the Lisbon Treaty.

He might have sought to help the EU bureaucracy, by outlining the main reasons the treaty was defeated.

He might have pointed out that the failure of the EU elites to explain the basis and aims of the EU project has created well-founded suspicion and distrust among EU electorates.

He might have said that if there's merit in further political integration (as some of us believe there might be), it cannot be attained by stealth.

It must be attained openly, democratically -- and that's not a big problem, if such integration is indeed in the interests of the peoples of Europe, not merely the political and business elites.

Yes, Irish fears about such issues as militarism and neoliberal attacks on workers' rights have validity -- but the arrogance of the elites, in their attempts to sideline democracy, undermines the whole EU project.

It will, in the long term, promote the foulest types of nationalism. And Brian Cowen went along with all this. He approached his fellow leaders apologetically. He stayed mute when Irish EU membership was sneered at and threatened.

The reaction of Mr Cowen, Mr Sarkozy, and the rest has confirmed every democrat's fears about the nature and purpose of the EU elites. Then, Mr Sarkozy announced he was coming to have words. Publicly, he wanted merely to "listen and understand". In secret, he was laying down the law.

Here's Jamie Smyth, in the Irish Times: "Despite pledging publicly to listen to the concerns of Irish voters . . . Sarkozy has privately been telling anyone who cares to listen that the Irish must solve the Lisbon problem by voting again."

Saying one thing to the public, while organising in secret for the direct opposite -- there's a word for that. Several words, actually. Hypocrisy, deceit, treachery, duplicity and betrayal will do to be going on with. This is not the job of the president of France.

And, inevitably, Mr Sarkozy's two-facedness caught up with him. Perhaps there was an element of deliberateness in the leak -- give the dumb Irish a glimpse of the iron fist in the velvet glove. Bad timing, Nicky.

As they realised the duplicity had got our backs up, a major operation was mounted to cover Little Nicky Sarko's bony ass.

The "forum" notion was junked. Suddenly, the schedule of meetings became a five-hour visit. Then, a four-hour visit. A kind of extended lunch.

The opposition leaders got the heave-ho. Taoiseach Cowen asked that Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore be shown respect by allowing them meet Mr Sarkozy, but why should he bother? After all, they're pro-Lisbon, they're in the bag. And out of power. Screw them.

Instead, what little time Mr Sarkozy dare commit to the visit must be used to demonstrate how he merely wants to "listen". He wants, God love him, to understand what "No" means.

So, fifteen groups were asked to come to the French Embassy and meet Little Nicky. They'll get three minutes each, with a full minute for Little Nicky to explain to each that he'll take their views on board.

The cosmopolitan wing of Fianna Fail is mortified. Noel Whelen berates the Irish people for their "arrogance".

Martin Mansergh philosophically muses that "voting again, per se, is not undemocratic".

Meanwhile, the in-your-face wing of Fianna Fail is livid. Mattie McGrath TD, no less, warned Little Nicky Sarko to "mind his own business and leave us to settle our own affairs". No second referendum, says Mattie. "The Irish people have spoken." And that's "the feeling of many of us in the Fianna Fail party".

You bet it is. Mattie says he has "no doubt that the Taoiseach will be telling President Sarkozy this behind the scenes". Don't count on it, Mattie.

Last week, Millward Brown IMS, a leading polling company, was given a lucrative contract to mount extensive confidential polls to "clarify the reasons underlying the referendum result". Why? After all, a comprehensive Eurobarometer poll already did exactly that.

This new confidential poll is a series of complex scientific evaluations of the public mind. Two thousand respondents -- twice the sample in the best newspaper polls -- will be questioned. Separately, a dozen focus groups, comprising almost a hundred people, will be grilled for up to two hours each.

This isn't to find out why people voted as they did. They already know that. Marketing people will recognise the exercise. This kind of polling is designed to figure out how to manipulate the public mind when preparing to sell a new product.

This is officially described as the "first step in the Government's response" to the referendum.

Instead of standing with us, defending our vote, the Government is standing with Mr Sarkozy and the rest of the elites, trying to figure out how to manipulate, threaten and bluff us into doing as we're told. And all the while they tell us that, of course, they accept the will of the people.

Saying one thing to the public, while organising in secret for the direct opposite -- there's a word for that. Several words, actually. Hypocrisy, deceit, treachery, duplicity and betrayal will do to be going on with. This is not the job of the Taoiseach of Ireland.