Saturday 22 October 2016

That old devil called shove...

Published 10/07/2016 | 02:30

A stability warning has been issued for the Cliffs of Moher
A stability warning has been issued for the Cliffs of Moher

They've issued a stability warning about the Cliffs of Moher. Apparently, following recent landslides parts of the cliffs are unstable and could fall into the sea. People are being warned to stay on the official path and not to stray off it. The official path, they tell us metaphysically, is the inner path.

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There is now pressure to extend this stability warning to cover the whole country. The place is dangerously unstable and parts of it could definitely fall into the sea at some stage, or at least become detached by the geological phenomenon known as Brexit borders. Though there's no sense in warning the whole country to stay on the right path. We strayed off the right path a long time ago now.

Some would date it back as far as November when Enda delayed in calling an election. This led to a lack of a landslide for him and a mild landslide for Fianna Fail. The instability really took hold last week as we threw the Constitution over the cliff - and now there seems to be a clamour to throw Enda Kenny over the cliff too.

Like the instability at the Cliffs of Moher, this was all entirely predictable and warnings were issued. That bizarre day when they finally got a government over the line, while TDs waited in the Dail as the last few deals were hammered out with flaky Independents, hardly spoke of a new era of political calm and stability. Is anyone surprised now that Shane Ross, who described Kenny as a political corpse back then, is hastening Kenny's demise by creating "a one-off that won't be repeated too often" over collective Cabinet responsibility?

As the week went on any notions of stability bolted completely. James Reilly was made deputy leader again having been fired from the position through his wife a few weeks ago. And then Regina Doherty seemed to try to shut down parliament by doing a worse job of cattle wrangling than the official asignee in bankruptcy. Regina then decided to call Enda out and tell him to announce his plans for leaving.

And just when you thought it couldn't get odder she turned up on Claire Byrne's radio show yesterday singing That Old Devil Called Love.

As things got curiouser and curiouser, what did we decide was the answer to the mayhem? Fire the Taoiseach - apparently he suddenly just had to go - and put Leo in instead.

Now there's a slogan you never thought you'd hear - Leo for stability. Leo is the man with the iron grip who is apparently going to calm everything down and get us back on the official path. We all love Leo but we should remember his time in Health. As Taoiseach, would he spend his time expressing his heartfelt concerns about all the things that are wrong in the country?

Of course, Enda has been in worse pickles than this and survived. One thing we can be sure of is that - if Leo gets the job - we and he will all be getting exactly what we deserve.

Sunday Independent

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