Monday 29 August 2016

King Enda and the power goblin

Published 08/12/2013 | 02:30

Taoiseach Enda Kenny
Taoiseach Enda Kenny

Hello boys and girls, this is a Christmas story about King Bertie, King Enda and Ogle the goblin. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, there were a people called the Irish.

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And the Irish people were very happy because they had all they wanted.

And their leader was a man called King Bertie. And King Bertie was a very popular man because he brought peace to the whole land, but also because he gave the people all the sweeties they wanted all the time.

So the people of the kingdom kept working, and they were happy, and they never had to throw a tantrum. But King Bertie knew that if he stopped giving the people who worked for the kingdom sweeties, they would stop working and have a tantrum, so he kept giving them more sweeties. And the people got used to having as many sweeties as they wanted. They even decided that sweeties grew on trees, and that they would always have more than they could ever eat. And so they all started swapping their sweeties for gold, and even the poor people started collecting more and more gold and giving more and more sweeties for it, until, one day, the people found they had no more sweeties and they had too much gold and no one wanted to buy the gold anymore. But still, even though this put a dark shadow over the land, there was peace in the land and no one had a tantrum.

But then one day, three wise men who had come to help the people get their sweeties back, left, and the people decided they no longer needed to be on their best behaviour. The first people to have a tantrum were the power pixies, who were led by a goblin called Ogle.

Ogle said the power pixies didn't have enough sweeties saved up for when they got old so he said he would plunge the whole land into darkness for Christmas. The shops would be closed, the restaurants would be closed, houses would be cold and dark; even Santa's workshop would be closed.

Ogle the goblin said the only way the people could save Christmas would be if they gave him and the power pixies 1.7 billion sweeties.

But the people couldn't do that. Because the people didn't have any sweeties left, and most of them didn't have any sweeties saved up for when they were old anyway, so they didn't see why they should give any to the power pixies.

The people were sad because the kingdom had just been coming out of a very dark time and things had been getting brighter again, but this kind of carry on could plunge the whole place into darkness again.

But the people didn't worry too much because the people had King Enda, and they knew King Enda had brought prosperity and sweeties to the land again, and he had solved everything, and the people were sure that Enda could solve this one too, and there was no way he would let the land be plunged into darkness. Because King Enda had the golden touch, and could do anything. He would never let the people down, would he?

To be continued . . .

Sunday Independent

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