Friday 24 February 2017

Healy-Raes to form government

Brendan O'Connor

Brendan O'Connor

Brothers Michael (left) and Danny Healy-Rae Photo: Niall Carson /PA Wire
Brothers Michael (left) and Danny Healy-Rae Photo: Niall Carson /PA Wire

News emerged this weekend that the two Healy-Rae brothers have begun talks about forming a government. Talks are said to be at a very tentative stage right now. The first meeting lasted just 18 minutes and was conducted on neutral ground halfway between Michael's farm and Danny's plant hire business.

The brothers were accompanied only by one of Michael's most loyal cattle and Danny's favourite digger. It is understood the brothers were attempting to put their years of historic differences behind them to form a government after they were unhappy about other parties' unwillingness to sign up to their list of demands.

"Their list was very long," said a member of the negotiating team for one of the main parties. "And frankly it contained many things that we just couldn't guarantee. For example, they are demanding that the next time Top Gear comes to Kerry, the two of them would star in it, driving around in their 4X4s beeping their horns. And Danny was demanding to be, as he put it: 'The lad from Friends who says How'roo doing?' We just can't make those kinds of promises."

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