Friday 21 October 2016

Garth's not coming - quick, call U2

Published 20/07/2014 | 02:30

Country music star Garth Brooks. AP
Country music star Garth Brooks. AP

And so we're back to our usual summer concerns. "Isn't the weather great? That was fierce rain. It's too warm. Will we ever get a summer?"

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As we descend again into typical summer whining, we still give the odd thought to Garth. For those glorious few weeks of Garth, we forgot to talk incessantly about the weather.

There is a small part of us that still can't believe it's over. We always thought insanity would prevail in the end and someone would pull something out of the hat. And each time, just when we are about to let it go, something else happens. The ship hasn't gone home. There could be a judicial review.

They keep teasing us and taunting us.

The latest gobsmacking news was that Owen Keegan, the unelected boss of Dublin city, has now casually admitted that, yes indeed, he did tell the organisers that he would support five gigs.

In his defence, Keegan - whom some now blame for destroying not only Dublin city (for people who need to use cars), Dun Laoghaire (for people who don't like monstrosities) and also this summer (for anyone who wanted to turn an honest buck) - claims that him saying he would support five gigs never meant there would be five gigs.

And, of course, he's right. Just because the unelected boss of the city, who can overrule the elected city council on these matters, tells you he is all up for five gigs and he will support five gigs, that's no reason to think you'll be allowed have five gigs, is it?

Of course, Keegan points out that he meant that he would support the five gigs subject to the legitimate concerns of residents being met. The gardai now know that half the concerns of the residents were not legitimate. And most of the other residents eventually changed their minds.

But Owen Keegan could not be seen to change his mind to allow the five gigs he had supported and then didn't. It could make him look bad.

Luckily for everybody, we have a crazy plan that will save summer and just might work.

So we have three nights going a-begging at Croke Park next weekend. We also have an ailing Irish supergroup that seems unsure of its next move.

Call me crazy but shouldn't U2 step in, save the city, save the summer and blast themselves back onto the world stage with an audacious surprise?

They could even drop their new album (which is apparently ready to go) on iTunes tomorrow. It worked for Bowie didn't it? And in return we would all promise not to mention their tax situation for the rest of the year at least.

Of course it won't happen, and next weekend we will be moaning about the weather again as usual. Either saying that it would have been a lovely weekend for Garth, such a shame.

Or else saying that everyone would have been drownded if Garth Brooks had happened.

Such a shame.

Sunday Independent

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