Elections? Give me a break...
Published 28/02/2016 | 02:30
Conventional wisdom has it that there's nothing the Irish love more than a general election.
And that's true up to a point. But the reality is that a general election is a bit like the Olympics or Ireland being in the European Football Championships. It is a pleasure that is best enjoyed only rarely. Yes, there are those who will take time off work, get a loan from the credit union, neglect their families and maybe even buy a giant TV to enjoy it properly - those people are generally called canvassers.
But really, by the time it's over, everyone is ready to go back to reality, and it takes about four or five years to forget the hangover and work up the courage and madness to want to do it all again.
While it is still unclear at the time of going to press just what it is that the people have said, one message we'd like to be clear on is, we really can't do that again for a while, and they can't make us.
We need a break now from people calling to our door just when we are putting the kids to bed. We need a break from the posters, the big idiotic pictures everywhere that make a mockery of our claim to be a sophisticated electorate and suggest that we will vote for anyone if we see their mug on a poster. We need a break from assessing who won dull leaders' debates where we the viewers feel like the losers. We need a break from Enda Kenny's gaffe of the day. We even need a break for a while from the all-new, holier-than-thou Fianna Fail, who've been around the place like like a bunch of priests with big sincere faces on them, shocked at the irresponsible carry on of Fine Gael.
The high watermark of that was Barry Cowen on the radio yesterday solemnly intoning that "we've been very responsible in opposition". What? Because it's in opposition that people normally go mad? It was like boasting that you didn't get involved in an orgy when you were in a convent. And are they ready to be themselves again now in Government?
We've had enough of Gerry Adams too. Even Sinn Fein has had enough of Gerry Adams going around without a clue about anything, telling us what's wrong with our country. We've had enough of Joan too. We feel even Joan's had enough of Joan.
So do what ye want now, lads and ladies of the political class. For the love of god, don't make us do that again.