Tuesday 27 September 2016

Christmas at Bluebell Farm

Published 29/11/2015 | 02:30

Minister Simon Coveney
Minister Simon Coveney

It was nearly Christmas at Bluebell Farm, and most of the animals were very happy.

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Pat the Pig was nestled down all snuggy in his cosy bed of money, dreaming about all the things he would buy himself for Christmas. He was dreaming too about how one day, when the farmer didn't need him anymore, he would retire somewhere nice, with a big pot he had put aside. Pat had heard stories about some piggies being taken away and slaughtered and sliced up and grilled and roasted, and eaten for breakfast. But he knew that wouldn't ever happen him, would it?

Eddie the Chicken hadn't quite as much money as Pat the Pig but his nest was quite well-feathered too, and Eddie didn't want any trouble. He just wanted to continue scratching around and having a quiet life. He had heard stories too, about chickens facing the chop, and running around headless, not knowing where they were going, squawking and shrieking. He'd heard you could be rightly plucked if you weren't careful. But Eddie knew that wouldn't happen him, because all the other animals on the farm liked Eddie, didn't they?

But not all the animals were happy. Some of the smaller animals thought that the big animals - like the fat piggies, the fat cows and even the fat cats, got too much of the food.

Derek the Donkey had also started braying very loudly about Pat the Pig. Derek wanted to know how much food Pat the Pig was getting, saying Pat was getting more than his share. And try as everyone might to ignore Derek's braying, he was a very stubborn donkey indeed and he just kept hee-hawing until eventually they couldn't ignore him anymore.

When all the other animals heard how much food Pat the Pig was getting, they were not happy at all. It had been a difficult time at the farm, and the last few years had not been great for fodder, and some of the animals hadn't been getting a lot to eat at all.

Pat the Pig said he deserved everything he got, because he did a great job lobbying with Farmer Coveney and Farmer Brussels to get a better life for all the animals. He even slyly dragged other piggies into it, saying they had been getting even more than him.

But the other animals didn't agree. They wanted Pat the Pig slaughtered, grilled, roasted and gobbled up. Pat the Pig finally agreed to go but not before he agreed with Eddie the Chicken that in return for going to be slaughtered he needed a big severance payment. Eddie the chicken agreed to it, and then the other animals got very cross with Eddie too, and they demanded that he face the chop as well. Meanwhile, to show what a nice piggy he really was, Pat the Pig said that half of his severance money should be given to animals who had nothing to eat, animals on other farms and in Africa. And that really made all the other animals cross. In the end, it turned out that it wasn't a very happy Christmas at Bluebell Farm at all.

Sunday Independent

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