And on the third day, our Great Leader met Bono
The great and good helped An Taoiseach celebrate his 'three glorious years', writes Brendan O'Connor
Today's elections in the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea, in which everyone is expected to vote and they only have a choice of one candidate, has been overshadowed by a triumphant week in The People's Democratic Republic of Ireland.
According to the official State news agency in Ireland, the country witnessed unprecedented scenes of jubilance last week as three days in Parliament were devoted to a celebration of its Great Leader for Life and his Government.
"The Great Leader for Life is very beloved by his people and it had been the general wish of the populace that three days would be set aside to celebrate his achievements in the last three years in Government. One day per year," according to a report from the agency.
The report did point out, however, that there was a certain amount of controversy about the Government designating three days for the so-called "Statements on the Government's Priorities for the Year Ahead".
The agency noted that "many people were unhappy at the designation of this three days as many of the Great Leader for Life's beloved people felt that this was not enough time to adequately enumerate the Leader's great achievements in his time in Government.
"Neither did it allow enough time for the Leader's esteemed colleagues to offer their full admiration for his achievements."
It was noted by the agency that it was very generous of the Leader to devote so much time to the Parliament last week, listening to and talking about his achievements, seeing as the Leader had a very busy week last week.
He had to make himself available to meet many important international leaders, who all queue up to ask the Leader's counsel. Even Bill Clinton, former president of the Imperialist US of A, had sought out the Leader last week to ask his advice on many matters of world importance. Later in the week Angela Merkel came to the Leader for comfort and succour, as she often does.
Bono, the Great Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of U2, also came to speak with the Great Leader about how he might better save the developing world. Even the beleaguered people of Ukraine sought his advice on how they might better stand up to the Russian Bear. The agency reports that the Great Leader was so busy solving the problems of the world it was difficult for him to take the time to talk about how he has solved the problems of the People's Democratic Republic of Ireland.
But the Great Leader found time for both because, said the agency, that is the kind of guy he is.
The people themselves did not appear to pay much attention to the three days of celebrations in the Parliament but the agency agreed that they were very grateful for it and that it was a sign of their love for the Great Leader that they would not crowd him while he was enjoying the enumeration of his achievements.
The official State news agency did not report the comments of the dissident parliamentarian Richard Boyd Barrett after he listened to the glorious speeches of the Great Leader and his deputy about all they have achieved. He said: "Let me summarise the Taoiseach and Tanaiste's speech – blah, blah, blah, blah, mumble, mumble – success, what a load of bullshit."