The umbrage and drink taken at Irish weddings
Published 23/11/2015 | 02:30
I'm a broken man. The head is as split as the San Andreas Fault. An elephant could fall through the crack in my head. And it's from lads asking me to write wedding speeches. Best men, fathers of the bride, fathers of the groom, fathers of the grooms and fathers of the brides. And they all say, "Ah sure it's no bother to you."
Yes it is bother to me. It's as if writing isn't work at all. Every man's job is easy except his own. And now with the gay weddings, the workload will be doubled - even the priest asked me one time if I had any good jokes for after the dinner.
I gave a groom one of the father's jokes and the man who used it was nearly divorced before the pavlova with seasonal fresh fruits.