John Paul II ruined our sex lives. Will Francis do the same?
So the Pope is coming back next year. If only I knew then I was going to become a newspaper columnist years later, I would have gone to all of the papal gigs.
But I didn't. I hadn't much interest. I wouldn't say I was the most sensible of young lads but I knew a con job when I saw one.
The visit had nothing much to do with love. It was about keeping up appearances, usually in long flowing robes with theatrical hats and golden mitres on this small lorry called a Popemobile which all the lads were dying to take out for a spin. The country was covered with yellow and white flags, the papal colours. Think Castlebar when Mayo are in an All-Ireland final and multiply by 10. The plan was to keep Ireland Catholic.