Billy Keane: Recollecting great deeds is only for the retiring types
I've heard stories of competitive men and women who dislocated arms from their sockets while pulling a Christmas cracker. Ah, but I have to tell you this one first before we go on. It came straight out of a cracker.
'Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.'
The people who write Christmas cracker jokes have the toughest job of all. For production reasons the jokes have to be made up in July when there's no Christmas spirit to tap into. It must be very hard for the jokers to get motivated.