Saturday 27 May 2017

Behold the foolproof diet - involving one exercise that you do sitting down

'Many younger lads have grown to detest their own bodies. The older men will pat their beer bellies proudly and say
'Many younger lads have grown to detest their own bodies. The older men will pat their beer bellies proudly and say "it cost a lot of money to put that there". The solution is probably somewhere in between the two extremes'. (Stock image)
Billy Keane

Billy Keane

There will be a glut of diets in the next week or so. The usual pictures will appear in all the papers of a man, or most probably a woman, wearing his or her pulled-out old elasticated trousers.

The caption might read 'Mary Slim lost 7 stone by eating our beetroot diet'.

People are gone mad for beetroot. Time was when the cattle wouldn't eat it. The beetroot-stained teeth and lips also provide a handy excuse for those of you who are too fond of the red wine.

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