I WAS a guest on The Big Bite hosted by David McWilliams a few years ago. I had always thought that David was a bit of an all-right, and when I actually met him in the flesh he seemed taller and even better looking than I had imagined -- and, yes, I did wonder what he would look like with his clothes off.

This didn't undermine my respect for him, or stop the relevant verbal exchange which took place when the cameras were rolling from being anything but professional with not a sexual thought in my head.

But beforehand, was I being a horrible sexist? Objectifying him in a vulgar and demeaning way? Probably, if that's the way you interpret it, but I meant no harm. In fact there were no real thoughts of intent or consequence, just pictures in my head.

It may be that both men and woman on a subconscious level suffer from the 'do I fight it or f*** it syndrome?' when we encounter someone unfamiliar, but it seems that it is only women who find it offensive when men admit to it. I guess it's more acceptable for women to think lewd thoughts because women aren't perceived as threatening.

I know that with a traumatic history of female subjugation, old wounds heal slowly. But we can't have it both ways. We can't dress up in our Agent Provocateur undies, spend hours waxing, tanning and exfoliating for a night of passion with our beloved, and then scream 'misogynist' when a man buys a copy of Loaded.

There are women out there who on principle refuse to shave their legs, or to wear make up, tight skirts or high heels and that is a very noble choice. I commend them. They would see the aforementioned carry-on as conforming to sexist stereotyping or worse, women actually reducing themselves to sex objects in a world where women are already objectified enough. But if, say, Katie Price or Pamela Anderson want to make a career out of surgically enhancing their boobs and flashing them to all and sundry, that's their choice and with the money that they have made, both women have all

SCREAMING WITH PLEASURE OR PAIN? CELINE McGILLYCUDDY REPORTS, PAGE 27

the luxuries in the world and control their money, life and destiny. Who is manipulating whom, and who is the beneficiary of men's inbuilt tendency to look at breasts? To some, these women are a disgrace to free-thinking emancipated womankind; to others, they are very shrewd business women and role models in how to work the system.

We know that cronyism and glass ceilings still exist and, despite equality legislation, women still have a hard time making it to the top.

We can never change our physiology or hormonal make-up, and I understand when women complain about how it is unfair that this should become an obstacle, but there seems to be a schizophrenic streak in some women's belief systems where they want to be sexy, attractive, slim, young-looking with firm boobs and high heels, yet scream blue murder if a man wolf whistles at them or says "hello, sexy".

We know that the male of the species has a sexual thought every six seconds -- and I suspect, if honest, the female, isn't far behind. That's just biology and it's a failsafe way to ensure the continuation of the species.

We women on the whole do take advantage of our looks and know darn well that to be physically attractive does help us get ahead in life. We might not approve of the politics of this truth, but deep down we use it and flaunt it like hell.

In a non-sexist, utopian, equal world, there would be no need for pole dancers, porn stars or hookers. Everyone would have money, so no woman would be lured into enriching herself by posing for Playboy, marrying a rich man or shagging for money. There would be no competition or looking for a suitable mate who could keep a woman in comfort and affluence; there would be no need to wear tight jeans or figure-hugging tops. No fantasies, no day-dreaming, no fun and games between the sheets as there would be no stereotyped roles to act out.

How wonderful, yet how boring! I think I'll take the sex object route for now; I will continue to wear make up and watch my waistline as I grow old. I will shave my legs and try and look attractive to the opposite sex and not be offended if someone tells me they fantasised about me. At my age I'd be flattered, but that's just me . . . deluded, aging sex object wannabe.

I will also continue to respect other viewpoints and accept that this kind of stuff is offensive to some, but for the rest of us, we have to accept that if we set out to be noticed, we can't get upset if some poor auld hormonal fella does notice us.

Sunday Independent