'This is your bus driver speaking. We are cruising at 35,000ft over the Atlantic'
As Aer Lingus bosses call for draconian cost-cutting measures, Kim Bielenberg looks at the future of the aviation business
Friday October 17 2008
Earlier this year, Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary predicted that within half a decade there will only be five airlines in Europe.
In O'Leary's scheme of things, Ryanair will fight on as one of the biggest airlines in the world with British Airways, Lufthansa, Air France and possibly EasyJet as competitors.
"Nobody else will survive,'' he warned. As an independent operator, our national flag carrier, Aer Lingus, will cease to exist.
For generations weaned on images of the shamrock livery and the bright gleaming green-suited stewardesses, the prospect is almost too much to bear.
But O'Leary's Darwinian vision of dozens of airlines going to the wall looked more plausible this week. Aer Lingus faces an uncertain future, announcing plans for 1,500 job cuts and, even more worryingly, projected losses of €100m next year.
The wildly fluctuating cost of fuel and the huge projected losses in Aer Lingus have cast doubt on the future of air travel as we know it.
Looking beyond the economic slowdown, will any of us still be able to fly away on holiday if oil prices are prohibitively high? And, if so, will there still be airlines and airports to serve us?
While Aer Lingus flounders, Michael O'Leary was characteristically bullish about the future of Ryanair.
In the short term, Ryanair may do little more than break even in the coming year.
But looking to the future, O'Leary promised cheap flights between Europe and America within three years.
While other business magnates stumble punch-drunk onto the canvas, Michael O'Leary likes to get up and fight. While other airlines go to the wall, he sees an opportunity to buy up cheap planes for his his next big scheme.
He will fly from nine airports in Europe across the Atlantic with an airport on Long Island considered to be a likely base for New York.
"There may be an opportunity to pick up cheap long-haul aircraft next year, in which case we might launch a low-cost, long-haul programme in two-and-a-half years," O'Leary said this week.
The new airline is likely to have a separate branding to Ryanair.
O'Leary hopes to nab a fleet of new planes by picking up orders from plane manufacturers that are cancelled by bankrupt or cash-strapped airlines.
He managed to squeeze significant discounts from Boeing during the last industry slump after the September 11 attacks.
If we are to believe O'Leary, within half a decade Ryanair's cheap fares revolution could be extended across the Atlantic.
Some aviation analysts are sceptical, however. Andrew Lobbenberg, aviation expert at Bank of Scotland, said that cheap fares between Europe and the US are already available on traditional carriers, part-subsidised by the steep ticket prices paid by business customers.
"Long-haul fares are often quite cheap in economy -- in part because they are subsidised by people in the front. It's not going to get consumers anything like as excited as low-cost short-haul," said Lobbenberg.
But will high oil prices curb air travel in the future?
Martin Cowley, vice president of the Sabre Travel Network, a travel technology company, predicts that fares will return to sustainable levels once the price of oil stabilises.
Paul Kilduff, author of a book on Ryanair, Ruinair, says airline travellers cannot expect to travel in any great comfort in the future.
Catching a flight may be no more luxurious than taking a country bus, with passengers loading up their luggage themselves.
All airlines, and not just Ryanair, are determined to cut costs. Anything that adds weight to a plane bumps up fuel costs.
"There has been some speculation that long haul airlines might take away the entertainment systems from economy class in order to save on weight.''
"For aviation to make sense economically, costs will be pared to virtually nothing -- with checked bags and extra legroom being charged at a premium rate,'' predicts Eoghan Corry, editor of Travel Extra.
"That is the future of aviation, relatively low prices but less comfort.
"When people like Michael O'Leary say that airlines are going in to the bus business, they are not joking.''
The European Commission is applying pressure on airlines to make planes more efficient, quieter and cleaner.
Plane manufacturers hope to have plane engines that are 20pc more fuel efficient in service within five years.
They are also experimenting with biofuels and lighter materials for building planes.
Although his own planes have become more fuel efficient, Michael O'Leary has no great love of environmentalists.
He suggested that "eco-nutbags" should shoot cows instead of criticising low-cost airlines. He believes governments should also target "fat and over-fed" business-class travellers who fly around in flat-bed seats "farting and burping".
The wit and wisdom of Michael O'Leary
No business baron in the world is better at shooting his mouth off. In a new book, The Little Book of Mick, Paul Kilduff collects some of the Ryanair boss's choicest utterances.
Here are just a few O'Learyisms:
On flying:
I am not a cloud bunny. I am not an aerosexual. I don't like aeroplanes.
On airline security:
We are not going to die at the hands of toiletries.
On working at Ryanair:
The only thing I will not do is fly the aircraft.
On popularity:
I don't give a shite if nobody likes me.
On his taxi:
I have a taxi because it's a good investment. I have a Mercedes 500. Not because I like the Mercedes 500, but because it's a big, comfortable f***ing car.
On his transatlantic plans:
In business class it will be beds and blow jobs ... it will be all free, including the blow jobs.
On tourism:
I don't give a toss where people want to go. I'm in the business of creating a market for people to go where they have never heard of.
More on security checks:
You don't see the government confiscating lipsticks and gel-filled bras on the London Underground. Most of them couldn't identify a gel-filled bra if it jumped up and bit them.
On low fares:
Germans will crawl bollock-naked over broken glass for them.
On what would cause Ryanair to fail:
Nuclear war in Europe, a major accident, or believing our own bullshit.
On his vocation:
I would have murdered, I would have gone through concrete walls to make money.
On the best way to settle his differences with Aer Rianta:
With Semtex... preferably during a board meeting.
On his wedding day, asked if the bride would be late:
Yes, she's flying Aer Lingus.
On himself:
I'm probably just an obnoxious little bollocks. Who cares?
On his plans after Ryanair:
Making the world a better place... by taking a vow of silence.
The Little Book of Mick, edited by Paul Kilduff, is published by Gill & MacMillan on October 17.
- Kim Bielenberg



