Sit up straight and listen to your older, wiser self
Joseph O'Connor writes a letter to himself at the age of 16, with some advice on diet, life and love
DEAR Sixteen-Year-Old Self. Hi, this is me. This is you plus several decades. Wake up when I'm talking to you! God, look at the state of yourself. What are you like?
Is that an actual hairstyle, or has someone dumped a plate of cold tagliatelle on your head? You look like you slept in a skip.
You're going to have to do something about your appalling diet. It seems to me that you have three criteria for selecting a meal: