Shadowy mischief worthy of a 'Yes Minister' plot
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MOST people who watch the classic British comedy series 'Yes Minister' laugh, but secretly think it could never happen here.
But Sir Humphrey, the cunning civil servant who regularly outwits the hapless minister Jim Hacker, could easily fit into a plotline based on what has occurred in our civil service over the past 16 months.
First, our former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern announces a major review of the public service, which is supposed to herald a new era of public service reform. More importantly, it also helps to deflect those awkward opposition questions about public sector reform.
But, in the background, few are aware the OECD report team is required to follow a "framework" agreed by a 12-member steering group -- which contains six departmental secretary-generals and one assistant secretary-general. This steering group is "regularly briefed" on the review's progress.
So the civil service constantly knows what is happening and is able to ward off any potential threats to its power.
It also is first in line to see the draft report because the OECD is obliged to show it to an "Irish Liaison Group", which is made up of eight senior Irish civil servants. We know now that the language of the report was toned down as a result and that the civil servants also insisted on more interviews with their ministers.
In 'Yes Minister', Sir Humphrey would have used this as an opportunity to bend Jim Hacker to his will with a carefully controlled briefing. Surely that could never happen here? In the meantime, another group of civil servants have been secretly contacting the OECD in an attempt to put across what they feel is a true picture of the civil service.
They are frustrated with the presence of an echelon of people "who time forgot", who barely bother to use computers, and are often so inactive that all they have to do is the newspaper crossword. But when the OECD report came out last April -- four months later than promised -- they were not surprised that their radical calls for up to 8,000 job cuts to tackle over-staffing were nowhere to be seen. Because for them 'Yes Minister' is no laughing matter, it is "unbelievably realistic".
And then Taoiseach Brian Cowen appoints a task force to implement the report. It contains four other secretary-generals, which means that the civil service outnumbers the private sector members by five to four. But wait! One of the private sector members is Paul Haran, principal of the college of business and law at UCD -- and also a former secretary-general at the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Employment.
So how realistic is it to expect this group to produce a radical implementation plan which could lead to thousands of job cuts for their current or former colleagues? For the answer to that, it's best to quote one of the most memorable lines from 'Yes Minister' about the civil service.
"Asking a town hall to slim down its staff is like asking an alcoholic to blow up a distillery."
So unless there is a plot twist of truly astonishing proportions -- such as the rare episodes when Jim Hacker gets one over Sir Humphrey -- the chances of genuine public sector reform are as far away as ever.
