Screeches of 'off with his head' greet our hero
Taoiseach Brian Cowen admires the bust of Sean Lemass in Government Buildings. Also at the launch yesterday of the Sean Lemass Award to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his election as Taoiseach was Lemass's great-grandson Sean Haughey Junior
Related Articles
Instead, there was so much tetchy talk of guillotines in the House yesterday afternoon that one feared for a while that the deputies were revolting and that long knives had been replaced by the fearsome device of the French Revolution.
But what had the opposition up in arms was the Government's guillotine blitz on the legislative schedule, curtailing the length of time that bills can be debated in the House before the axe falls and the piece of legislation hustled through. The summer holliers are fast approaching, a whole pile of bills are gridlocked on the parliamentary highway, and the Government traffic police are anxious to wave them all through the fast lane.
But the opposition were determined to throw up a few roadblocks, and Labour's Eamon Gilmore was particularly agitated at the prospect of guillotining the Financial Measures (Miscellaneous Provisions) Bill 2009 by 10pm that evening, and hounded the Taoiseach.
Like Professor Robert Langton in 'The Da Vinci Code', Eamon had unearthed a hidden conspiracy buried in the part of the bill which deals with the bank guarantee scheme.
"Buried away in Part 2 of Schedule 2 of the bill is an amendment to the legislation that introduced the bank guarantee scheme which is currently slated to expire in September 2012. That amendment lifts the two-year time limit on the bank guarantee scheme and gives power to the Minister for Finance to extent the guarantee by ministerial order for any period," he declared incredulously.
"We have given one blank cheque to the banking system, now the Government is effectively asking the House to provide the system with an undated blank cheque". Eamon smelled a rat. "Why does the Taoiseach want it done and dusted by 10 pm tonight? What is the big hurry?" he asked suspiciously.
Brian had what he regarded as a perfectly logical explanation at the ready. "There is a need to deal with this matter because we have limited our bank debt guarantee to September 2010. Five-year money securities are becoming available on markets that we cannot take because we cannot guarantee the banks beyond September 2010," he said reasonably.
All they were doing were trying to level the playing pitch with other countries. No shadowy conspiracy at all.
But this didn't appease anyone sitting across the chamber. Even the usually calm Richard Bruton was cross with the Government which he reckoned "has an aggrieved sense of self-righteousness and pushes ahead with everything while dismissing this chamber as a place to debate these important issues. I am getting fed up with it," he sniffed
Deputies were queuing up to give out. Labour's Joan Burton was also in Dan Brown mode. "This is more use of the back door by a Government that is afraid to come in and face the people. Not only do we have one guillotine today, we have six this week," she moaned.
"Here we are with guillotine after guillotine," echoed Sinn Fein's Caoimhghin O'Caolain.
Brian was cheesed-off with the sniping, and thumped the table. "The deputy should get a little responsibility," he snapped. "It's pure incompetence," shouted Eamon. "Hot air, that's all it is. Hot air," jeered Brian.
But the Labour Party were absolutely convinced that there was some skulduggery afoot. Eamon and Joan Burton were sure there were shadowy Cabals in the Cabinet. In her contribution to the debate, Joan said with a dramatic flourish, " I do not trust the Minister's party on this. It has been and remains the silent spider at the centre of a conspiratorial web of dodgy property deals and corrupt rezoning."
Golly. Fianna Fail is really SPECTRE in disguise. Never mind bank bonds. Only James Bond can save us now.
