Lise Hand: No 'buddy-buddy' in the Dail as Enda is bruised by Gerry's digs
WE'RE living in the wrong country altogether. Over in Italy, they have Silvio's bunga-bunga in all its lascivious glory, with tawdry tales of the oversexed old goat doing the bold thing with a smorgasbord of showgirls. All we have to get excited about here is Enda's buddy-buddy with a vertically challenged Frenchman.
For the uninitiated, 'buddy-buddy' is the sort of manly exchange of pucks and digs which occurs between males of the non-Brokeback Mountain persuasion when they encounter each other at a public gathering. In fact, it's just the sort of horseplay which broke out between our Taoiseach and the French President at the EU summit in Brussels on Monday.
In fairness, Enda could rightly protest that Sarko started it, as he was sitting peacefully at the table when Monsieur Le President came up behind him and landed an unmerciful clatter on his shoulder. But Enda was as chuffed as if Sarko had torn up an Anglo promissory note right in front of him and within seconds the pair of them were cavorting together like spring lambs in a sunny field.
It would've been quite touching, really, save for the unfunny fact that Nicolas is the rear end of the grim Franco-German pantomime horse called Merkozy which is galloping ahead with its plan to turn the EU into some sort of Aintree Grand National in which only the fittest participants survive.
In fairness, Enda is a tactile chap, prone to doling out playful punches as a greeting to male colleagues -- and more than one journalist has departed a doorstep interview with him nursing a dead arm.
But the Taoiseach is travelling under an unlucky star these days, where everything he does is wrong (rightly or wrongly).
And so it was inevitable that a dim view would be taken of his Lark with The Sark by somebody or other -- and yesterday in the Dail it was Gerry Adams and Joe Higgins who voiced their disapproval.
Joe remarked: "I noticed in some of the TV shots that a number of other prime ministers also patted you on the head as they passed you by. They must be delighted with you for blaming the Irish people for the disaster of their system."
EAGLE-EYED Joe was correct. Enda also got a playful pat on the neck from Eurogroup bigwig Jean Claude Juncker.
Gerry Adams wasn't moved by this either. "Chonaic me ar an teilifis areir go raibh an Taoiseach agus an t-Uachtaran Sarkozy mar buddy-buddy," he said sternly. Gerry pronounced himself to be "disgusted" at how "silly the Taoiseach was".
"How much extra austerity did the Taoiseach sign up to last night?" demanded Gerry finally.
Across the chamber, Enda bristled. "For Deputy Adams to get up here above everybody else and talk about meeting people, when he himself was 'buddy buddy' to some very shadowy creatures over the last 30 years . . ." he retorted.
"So for you to come in here to this House, where you have been elected democratically yourself, and accuse anyone else of being 'buddy buddy . . .'" he snapped.
"You, sir, have never owned up to some of the 'buddy buddy' creatures with whom you associated over the last 30 years," he added, pointedly referring to the IRA and adding: "I have to say that the organisation involved was the enemy of this State because they murdered gardai, Army personnel and innocent civilians."
Enda was hopping mad. All he did was mess about with Sarko. It's not like there was any French kissing or anything.
After all, nobody said anything when Biffo planted a smacker on Sarko's cheek outside Government Buildings a couple of years ago.
In the face of this onslaught, Gerry retreated, loosing one last parting shot.
"I just think it is inappropriate for a Taoiseach to act like an eejit when he meets the French president," he muttered.
Enda still wasn't mollified -- in fact he looked like he needed a buddy-buddy.
But next to him, Leo Varadkar didn't offer. There's only so much that even a cabinet minister will do for his country.
Irish Independent
