Lise Hand: Captain Burton takes the wheel and shows how the good ship should be steered
PEOPLE may not have realised it, but we had a free house yesterday. Both the head and the deputy head of Government, aka the Taoiseach and Tanaiste, were gadding about New York like a couple of swells (or a trio of swells, if one counts Jobs Minister Richard Bruton, who tagged along too).
So who was left at home to keep an eye on the kids and make sure we didn't go mad altogether, spending money on slabs of beer and posting open invitations on Facebook to an all-night party?
And who, more importantly, would be entrusted with taking Leaders' Questions in the absence of both Enda and Eamon? From the outside it might look like a snoozefest of self-serving questions and evasive answers interspersed with the odd outbreak of synchronised shouting (actually, sometimes from the inside it looks like that too), but it has its perils.
Because whoever takes the Leaders' seat in the Dail chamber knows that there are self-inflicted booby-traps to avoid and opposition barbs to dodge and fudges to be disguised as straightforward replies to questions.
So who would be given temporary command of the bridge of the HSS Hibernia, standing in for the Tanaiste who usually takes the Thursday Leaders' Questions?
In a break with tradition (the time-honoured tradition of giving the important jobs to men, that is), it was Joan Burton who took the wheel.
In fact, there was an unfamiliar look to the chamber; in the absence of Mary Lou McDonald, Caoimhghin O Caolain was in the Sinn Fein hot spot, while Fianna Fail's Michael McGrath was deputising for Eamon O Cuiv, whose mother passed away yesterday morning.
But did the Social Protection Minister display any first-time nerves? Did she heck. In fact, she wasted little time into getting stuck into the Opposition.
In reply to a haranguing from Michael McGrath of what he described as the "shambolic" retirement of thousands of public sector workers by the end of February, Joan swiftly reminded him that this retirement scheme had been put in place by his own colleague, the late Brian Lenihan when he was Finance Minister.
"Why would you now express mystification of it is a bit odd. Perhaps you didn't understand it at the time and that is the reason you're befuddled now," she suggested.
"Hear, hear," crowed the backbenches of Labour deputies who had turned up mob-handed to offer some moral support to the debutante.
But Joan's no blushing novice; in recent years she regularly crossed swords with Brian Cowen and Brian Lenihan, who rarely bothered to hide their irritation with her -- the then Taoiseach once semi-jokingly ordered Eamon Gilmore to "rein her in".
SO as a survivor of that bear pit, taking Leaders' was surely a piece of cake. Joan was motoring along nicely; when faced with a blizzard of questions from the formidable Shane Ross, including one which poured scorn on the Tanaiste's praise of American hedge-fund manager Michael Hasenstab -- a brave (or possibly bonkers) chap who's invested over €4bn in Irish Government IOUs, Joan slid a stiletto into the journalist and former stockbroker straight away.
"I have great respect for the commentary and writings of Deputy Ross," she said.
"I recall his commentary on many occasions, particularly coming up to Christmas and the New Year, on luminaries of the Irish collapse. I believe Mr Sean FitzPatrick was always his nominee to be Governor of the Central Bank or Minister for Finance," she reminded all and sundry with a cheery smile.
Shane wasn't to be deterred. He was also most unhappy at the Taoiseach's declaration in the US that day that the Irish economy was set to grow by 1.3pc.
"Are we going to allow him to peddle that porkie in the United States when he is selling the Irish story?" demanded Shane.
Joan went on the counter-attack.
"Is the Deputy suggesting that the Taoiseach go out and give some kind of negative message about the country after all the sacrifices of everyone in this country?" she retorted.
"She said the country was banjaxed," protested Fianna Fail's Billy Kelleher, recalling one of Joan's moans from her time in opposition.
But Joan had steamrolled on, turning her ire on a heckling Finian McGrath.
"You normally talk out of both sides of the fence," she said in perfect Bertiespeak.
The Labour deputies were enjoying Joan's sure-footed performance as much as she was -- in fact, she showed a bit more verve and confidence than sometimes emanates from that seat when it's occupied by her party leader.
Captain Joan looked comfortable at the helm. Eamon had better bring his Social Protection minister a nice present from the Big Apple.
For with regular outbreaks of muttering coming from the Labour crew, he'd need to keep a weather eye open for any sign of mutiny on the Good Ship Labour -- especially with Joan 'Fletcher Christian' Burton waiting in the wings.
Irish Independent
