independent

Thursday 17 April 2014

Kim Bielenberg: Fine Gael opponents of threesomes will have to roll over

WORRYING: Fine Gael TD Michelle Mulherin calls the advice 'incredibly regressive

In these cold late Spring days there is no doubt that the Fine Gael TD Michelle Mulherin has warmed the cockles with her concerns about threesomes.

Twitter has been aflame with the notion of what are commonly known in the red top tabloids as “three-in-a-bed romps”.

Within no time after Ms Mulherin raised the issue, threesomes were trending nationally.

With no major sporting events on over a chilly weekend it is an understandable pre-occupation.

Ms Mulherin is apparently appalled that Spunout.ie, a youth organisation sponsored by the HSE, is giving teenagers tips such as “save threesomes for a bit of fun”.

The Fine Gael says she plans to raise the issue with the Health Minister James Reilly this week.

This is yet another pressing issue to be added to the minister’s lengthy to-do list: hospital waiting lists – check; doctors’ salaries – check; threesomes – check.

We await Mr Reilly’s response on the three-in-a-bed rumpus with interest.

But barring standing by the bedroom door and scaring couples – or should that be triples – away, like some latter day fire-and-brimstone bishop, it is hard to know what the bearded one could possibly do about it.

Certainly there are health implications in spunout.ie’s advice, as this kind of activity could cause serious injury if it spins out of control with a bump.

On the 98 FM web site came the historic political news: “There’s divided opinions within Fine Gael on the topic of threesomes….”

Now this is one debate among the once God-fearing Blueshirts that I never thought I’d see.

Where would the party’s august founder William T Cosgrave senior have stood on this issue?

One cannot help but feel that the party stalwart Oliver J Flanagan, who was of the opinion that there was no sex in Ireland until the Late Late Show, would not have taken this lying down.

So, if Fine Gael really are divided on the issue of threesomes, how does opinion in the party divide.

Sources tell me that two out of three are in favour, and one out of three is against.

It looks like the opponents will have to roll over.

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