Flamin' Nora, lack of leaders drives us Batty
Sunday March 29 2009
The relationship between politicians and journalists often resembles that of the formidable matriarchs in Last of the Summer Wine and their terrified husbands.
Rather like Nora Batty, the media understands that politicians have to exist; but when it comes to the various Compos Foggys and Cleggs of the political mainstream, we're really happier when they're out from under our feet.
Outsiders may complain about the St Patrick's Day week-long break, but we find it stops them from cluttering the place up and annoying us with their inane chatter.
In fairness, their return provided us with some entertainment courtesy of the decision of the former PD leader Mr 'What's His Name?' to join FG.
As Enda unveiled FG's latest recruit, we sought him here, there and everywhere, but alas we could not see the new candidate.
Eventually a helpful FG man told us 'What's His Name?' was perched on Enda's shoulder but we still could not see him.
As one FG wag chuckled: "Jaysus, if he was a fish you'd throw him back," much the same could be said of the Government's much touted attack on crony capitalism.
The Taoiseach's claim that the Government's initial response to the Fingleton affair would consist of a month-long investigation into whether he received the million did provoke some cynical chuckles.
However, a Sketch which is still (just barely) in 'We're backing Biffo' mode believes our Taoiseach's response is entirely correct.
In these difficult times, the last thing the country needs is strong, decisive moral leadership from the top.
When it comes to the absence of that particular concept they are consistent.
This was epitomised by the great pre-budget debate where not a single mouse of a TD or even a even a Minister for Finance turned up.
Instead, snarling Noel Dempsey arrived in to tell us the Government's 'strategy' was to attack the gap on public finances, sort out the banks and create jobs.
Sadly, from the very moment 'Snarler' said FF had a 'strategy' he was as credible as Bertie's tribunal evidence.
In contrast, Richard Bruton's attack on a government which couldn't 'manage a corner shop' and whose defence of 'privileged elites' had 'destroyed the quality of professionalism' in the civil service was scintillating.
The most impressive feature was the fact that while Bruton was in a genuine rage over the rape of our country to sate FF's political greed, he was still magnanimous enough to appeal to the Government to look 'beyond its long political nose' and work with the Opposition in renewing politics so we could confront the recession.
But such a concept of patriotic co-operation is beyond a government who remind us of the pointlessness of putting lipstick on a pig.
The bad news is that, after Noel left, things actually got worse.
Brian Lenihan's version of 'come out Joan Burton and ye Labour Stalinists and fight me like a man' was bad enough, but nothing epitomised the reduced status of Mr Cowen more than Padraic McCormack's dismissive snap of, "That's a very intelligent answer", when the Taoiseach finally ended his Baloo-the-bear-style warnings about the need to ignore 'dogmas' like balancing the Budget.
As Padraic followed up with a quip about how when it came to the economy Mr Cowen should 'phone a friend', our mood was not improved by the state-dinner-guzzling trade unions racing back to the social partnership trough with unseemly haste.
Still, it went a long way towards explaining why our stumble bum of an Agriculture Minister and the Taoiseach were so confused about just how much money we would need to borrow this year.
In a scenario like this, Mr Fingleton and overly enthusiastic amateur artists are the least of our worries.
- John Drennan
