David Quinn: School sex talk is useless without lesson in fidelity
Friday January 22 2010
My oldest child is 11 and so he is about to start Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE). His school held an information meeting about it the other evening which I attended.
The person who is teaching RSE is from a Catholic organisation, but can I assure readers fearful that this organisation is intent on shoving Catholic doctrine down the throats of their children that nothing could be further from the truth -- not to judge from the other night, anyway.
The lady was a practical-minded woman who spoke clearly and well about her subject. She was excellent about the emotional development of children about to enter their teenage years. She was also pretty good on the sexuality stuff. But while I have no doubt that she is a thorough-going Catholic, I'm damned if I can think of a single thing she said that indicated the children were going to be taught RSE within a specifically Catholic framework.
For example, she was asked about contraception. She said she would tell the children about contraception matter of factly, if asked, but would save most of that stuff for when they were older.
Then she was asked about homosexuality and she was also matter of fact about that. If asked, she would tell them that homosexuality is not a choice; that we must be respectful and tolerant of it; and that homosexuality is only one part of a person.
On neither subject was the Catholic position mentioned at all. Nor was the overall Catholic teaching on sex and marriage mentioned. Nor were we told what kind of sexual morality the programme aims to instil in children and how this might or might not fit in with what parents want for their children.
Now, I know certain readers will be groaning at this stage. The reason I didn't ask the woman any challenging questions the other night is because I knew most of the parents there would probably groan as well.
Probably their general view is that, yes, love your neighbour and be nice to people is all very fine -- teach the children that -- but please, none of that ridiculous stuff about not having sex outside marriage, or about contraception, or about homosexuality.
Let's bend somewhat with the prevailing wind, therefore. Let's try to come up with a way of teaching RSE in Catholic schools that doesn't do complete injury to the Catholic view of love, sex and marriage, but doesn't unduly annoy parents who don't go along with the full Catholic package, which these days means most parents.
Take contraception to start with. By all means tell children who are old enough what contraception is. Tell them the Catholic view as well. But then tell them that different people have different opinions about contraception and that they should go home and ask their parents what they think about the subject. In other words, put it back in the hands of parents, where it belongs.
The same approach can be used about homosexuality. Tell them what homosexuality is, tell them homosexual people must be treated with respect, tell them the Catholic/Christian view, but tell to go home and ask their parents their opinion about this as well.
Given that RSE will be taught mostly in Catholic schools, this is a very modest ask. But here is what else must be taught in RSE -- the value of fidelity and the gigantic cost of the sex revolution.
Mary Harney has just announced that all 12-year-old girls are to be given a vaccine -- with their parents' permission -- against Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which is one of the major causes of cervical cancer. What has barely been mentioned in any of the reports about this initiative is that HPV is transmitted through sexual contact and that the more partners you have the more likely you are to catch it.
I presume few parents want their child to have multiple, casual sexual partners? I presume they want their children to be taught the facts of life that matter, including that the more sexual partners you have, and the earlier you begin having sex, the more likely you are to do yourself emotional and physical damage.
Will the 12-year-olds who are given the HPV vaccine also be told that the vaccine isn't 100pc effective and that the more sexual partners they have in life, the more likely they are to contract it? Will the sex revolution be challenged? Will children be taught to value fidelity and commitment over so-called 'personal freedom', which is what the sex revolution is all about?
So by all means teach children the facts of life, teach them about relationships and sexuality. But do so in the way that is fully true to the facts and is not merely a liberal whitewash of modern sexual morality, a morality that has brought us to the sad pass of vaccinating 12-year-old girls against a sexually transmitted disease that would be eminently avoidable in a world that valued fidelity.
Will RSE teach them that? If it doesn't, it's not worth the paper it's written on.
dquinn@independent.ie
- David Quinn
Irish Independent
