Friday 26 May 2017

Cut the bull . . . it's just a bit of a trim

We're being scalped, never mind this relentless blowdry of political euphemisms , says Joseph O'Connor

YOU know what I'm starting to hate? The word "haircut", that's what. Not the pleasant and relaxing thing that happens when you go to the barber but the way the word is increasingly being used in these strange old times to mean the drastic reduction in the value of loans that you and I just bought. We weren't asked if we'd like to buy them. It came as a pleasant surprise.

Haircut. Haircut. Such a nice little word, so innocent and jocular and playful and sweet. A puppy of a word, gnawing gently at your slippers while pausing occasionally to look up at you adoringly with an expression of heart-aching love.

Haircut. Haircut. A word you'd take for a walk. A word you'd want to cuddle and throw a stick for. You'd chuckle as the word "haircut" rolled over on its back, begging you to tickle its belly.

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