Monday 25 September 2017

Billy Keane: Two boozy weddings and my funeral -- never again

The undertaker whispered "you don't look a bit well". I was going to ask the dead man if he wouldn't mind getting out of the coffin for a while so I could have a lie down.

You have to take notice when an undertaker gives a diagnosis. It's his business to forecast the identity of his next customer, but I knew what was wrong with me. It's a hangover.

There's no sympathy forthcoming. From anyone. The lady inside the sat-nav is the only woman talking to me at the moment and I can't even keep down a glass of water.

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