You must be joking - Niamh shines in the Rose spotlight
Cork Rose Niamh O'Hanlon enjoying herself on stage in the Dome last night during the opening night of the Rose of Tralee contest
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TWO great Irish institutions collided last night. One, some would say, is a relic from a bygone era, and the other a modern monster conceived in a garage forecourt and made famous by a Thurles comedian.
The melange of a lovely girl and a heart scare in a baguette was served to the crowds under the Rose of Tralee Dome by an American.
She warbled her way through a short recital of that cherished Irish come-all-ye, ‘Jumbo Breakfast Roll', which she dedicated to her octogenarian friend, Holy Moley Joe Foley.
The surreal, brief chorus during the first night of the Rose was akin to Dev's vision of a comely maiden emerging from a Spar slugging a bottle of Lucozade and gorging on extra wedges, with tomato sauce smeared on her frock for good measure.
But Rita Talty (25), the first ever New Jersey Rose, admitted she had never tried the morning delight so beloved by builders the length and breadth of Ireland.
“No, no, no,” said the Pat Shortt fan. “I wouldn't eat it. I eat sausage and stuff, but not all together.
Hilarious
“Everyone at home in the Irish community watches ‘Killanskully’ and when I was Portlaoise at the regional, they thought it was hilarious that it was on my application.
“When I came over here, one of the judges said: ‘I think it would be great if you sang that'.
And I was like, ‘Are you serious?' People will be like ‘Go back to Jersey, what are you doing?’”
But the audience was more, like, what is Ray D'Arcy doing?
Ray D’Arcy performed a Pat Shortt jig that, combined with the reworking of the renowned ballad, almost brought the Dome down in convulsions of laughter.
Dubai Rose Emma Dwaine, dubbed ‘de wan from Dubai', but who is originally from Limerick, told us all about the great week the lovely girls have had.
“At the national museum we did stop,” she said, informing the crowds of the antics the 31 Roses got up to on their nationwide tour.
“Then on to Guinness where we encountered the hop.
“But no matter who the rose will be,” she continued, “we all know we had a ball in Tralee.”
The escorts also had a ball in Tralee, but the sought-after title of Escort of the Year was settled last night, with the gong going to Donal Droney (24), from Kildare.
“It's mainly just following the guidelines and treating the girls well,” he said. “I think it was basically following the lads' orders. They're a really good team. It's about making it as special as possible for the girls. I got my own Rose a few things.”
The secret to Mr Droney's success was doing what escorts do best – when the Roses say jump, they duly oblige.
Those few things included a beauty hamper and a Naas Rugby jersey, although it's not clear how popular the jersey was with his Rose, who hails from Roscommon.
She will shine tonight when she performs her party piece of completing a Rubik's Cube in about one minute.
Dublin Rose Hannah McDonnell, who suffers from dyslexia and dyspraxia, wowed the audience, which included Ceann Comhairle John O'Donoghue, with a version of the ‘Marilyn Monroe' song from the musical ‘Blood Brothers'.
Texas Rose Roisin Mulligan should have put Ray D'Arcy on her lap her as a performance piece, such was the extent she towered over him.
“The smallest man in the bar always tries to chat me up,” she said. “It's not going to work. I can't bend down for the rest of my life.”
So don't try it, Ray. We don't want your confidence dented, especially when you have another batch of Roses to prune tonight.
